


Mark It Up

by sophiewritesandstuff



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood, Depression, F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minor Character Death, Rape Mentions, Self-Harm, Suicide mentions, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 03:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 31,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2606996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiewritesandstuff/pseuds/sophiewritesandstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where you literally wear your heart on your sleeve, how do you wipe the slate clean and start over again? Armin Arlert has loved and lost too many times in his life, and when he runs into old high school classmate Annie Leonhart at a cafe and sees that mark appear on her body, he pushes her away for fear of getting hurt even more. Will he give up his heart again? <br/>IMPORTANT: THIS FIC IS DISCONTINUED SO HAS BEEN MARKED AS COMPLETE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SUPER SPEEDY BUT VERY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!
> 
> Hi there all! So at the advice of a kind and constructive reviewer over on FFnet (thank you, tentsubasa!), I am adding a proper author's note/preface at the beginning of this first chapter to explain the concept as I realise directing people to the Tumblr post is kinda lazy, heh.
> 
> The basic concept is as follows: in this world, every time someone falls in love, a red tally mark appears on their wrist. The red mark turns black if the other person returns their love, and a tally mark becomes a scar if the person they love dies.
> 
> I think that's all you need to know for now, I will add further author's notes should something else need outlining in future! Please enjoy the fic!

He was not normally a coffee drinker, but today Armin Arlert needed something to help him forget what he had just had to do, to keep him powering through the rest of his day. He could cry when he was in bed tonight, but for now he had to get back to work. As he queued, he noticed something familiar about the blonde female barista taking orders. Her hair was scraped back into a messy bun, with short tendrils of it framing her face, and a false, cheery smile was plastered onto her face.

"Hi there, what can I get for you toda… Armin?" Her face lit up, a genuine grin replacing the fake one.

"Annie? Annie Leonhart? Oh my god!" Armin lunged over the counter and embraced his old classmate. "It's been, what, six years?"

"Seven actually. It's so good to see you! You're looking great!" She enthused, reciprocating his hug despite the large queue of customers behind him.

"So are you. I had no idea you worked here!"

"I'm just paying the rent right now. I'm working on getting a novel published."

"That's awesome! I'm in IT these days, I work at the law firm down the street."

"Ackerman and Smith?" Annie queried.

"That's the one." Armin replied. "The pay's kinda lousy, but the higher-ups treat us well."

"Hey! Some of us are on a timed lunch break y'know!" someone yelled from the queue.

"Yeah, yeah, save it!" Annie snapped back. "Hey, Mina, think you could take over from me? I'm gonna grab my break." One of Annie's co-workers came dashing over with a smile.

"Sure. You taken his order?" Mina pointed at Armin.

"Whoops, sorry! Large double shot cappuccino, please."

Mina rang it through. "That's £3.55 please."

Armin handed over £4 and shook his head when Mina tried to hand him the change, indicating the tip jar. Annie took off her apron and dumped it behind the counter, and she and Armin settled into one of the booths near the back of the café.

"Large double shot cappuccino, huh? Rough morning?" Annie asked.

"You could say that." Armin shrugged his black suit jacket off and pulled the left sleeve of his shirt up. Four red tally marks stood out starkly against his pale skin, and crossing through them was a darker mark which Annie could see was a scar.

"Crap, Armin, I'm so sorry…"

"No it's okay, you didn't know." Armin smiled gently, but try as he might he couldn't stop the tears falling. Annie took his hand.

"Who was she?"

"Sasha Braus. Remember Sasha?"

Annie had a brief memory of dark brown hair, and a face constantly covered in food crumbs. "You and Potato Chip Girl? When did that happen?"

Armin chuckled softly. "Yeah. Not long ago. It was early days, but we… We thought it was the real thing, you know? I mean before this was a scar, it was black."

"So… Can I ask how she…?"

"C-car accident." Armin's voice trembled. "Last week when the storm hit. She was on her way to visit her family… She swerved to avoid a deer… Her car t-turned right over…"

Armin's head hit the table with a thump, and Annie jumped in surprise.

"Hey… It's okay." Annie looked over as Mina brought Armin's coffee, putting a finger to her lips. Mina nodded and put the coffee down without a word. Armin lifted his head and grabbed the coffee mug with both hands, taking a large mouthful and scrunching his face up suddenly.

"Crap, that's hot!" he cursed after swallowing the coffee. "And really strong, dear god why did I ask for double shot?"

Annie couldn't help but laugh. "Let me get you some sugar." She went and grabbed a handful of sugar packets and a spoon, and soon Armin had emptied about six sachets into his drink.

"Ahh, much better." He sighed, cradling the cup in his hands.

Annie smiled. "Good. I'm sorry for bringing that up."

"Don't worry, like I said, you weren't to know." Armin smiled back at her.

Annie studied him as they sat and made small talk. She remembered him being gangly and awkward in high school, but now he had really filled out. His shoulders were broader, his face was less childlike… Suddenly Annie felt a tickle on her inner left wrist.

_Oh no… Nonononono this is bad, this couldn't be worse timing…_

Her left arm shot under the table, and her sudden movement caught Armin's attention.

"Annie? Is everything alright?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, I just have a bad itch, on my knee." She lied, glancing down. Sure enough, next to her two old red tally marks, a fresh one had appeared. "Shit!"

"Annie?"

"D-don't worry! Everything's fine!"

"I may not have known you that well in high school, but I know how to spot a liar. What's the matter?"

Sighing in response, Annie raised her left arm, turning it so Armin could see her tallies.

"I only had two until just now."

Armin stared at her, his mouth gaping open. "I-I have to get to work."

Before Annie could even open her mouth to speak, the coffee mug was abandoned on the table and Armin was halfway to the door.

"Shit!" She cursed again, noticing Armin had abandoned his suit jacket. "Armin! Wait!" Annie followed him out into the cold November air. "Armin! You left your jacket!"

Armin paused, then turned back and slowly moved towards her. Once he was within reaching distance, he spoke up.

"I'm not good for people Annie. I'm not good for anyone. Y-you should stay away from me. I'll only hurt both of us."

With that, he snatched the jacket from her grasp and was gone down the street and into the law firm building. Annie stood there, rooted to the spot, looking at her wrist.

"Damn you!" she shouted at her tallies, before turning on her heel and marching back into the café, her eyes brimming with tears.


	2. Chapter 2

Armin stumbled through the door of his apartment at 6pm, drained from work and preoccupied by his encounter with Annie in the coffee shop. He surely couldn't have made that much of an impression on her so soon...

Could he?

He paused in the hallway, looking in the mirror. Granted, he was no longer the lanky teenager with chronic acne that he had been in high school. The last seven years had been kind to him, and his physique had become far manlier, though he still wore his hair long, even longer than it had been in school, and he tied it back in a low ponytail most of the time to keep it out of the way.

"Armin? Is that you?" A voice called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, Eren, it's me."

"Wrong as usual, genius." He jumped in surprise as Levi popped his head around the door.

"I keep telling you, the two of you have been together too long, you're starting to sound like each other." Armin grinned.

"Whatever, smartass. In the grand scheme of things, five years isn't that long." Levi rolled his eyes as he spoke, and Armin gave the shorter guy a playful shove as he walked into the kitchen. "How you been holding up, buddy?"

"I've been worse." Armin gave his flatmate a rueful smile. "I bumped into an old classmate of mine today, she's working at that little coffee shop down from my office."

"Did Eren know her?"

"Only through me. I was her partner for a geography project a few times, 'cause we sat near each other in class." Levi nodded.

"Is she cute?"

"Levi!" Armin exclaimed. "I'm 100% through with relationships. I don't intend to add any more tallies to this wrist of mine." He shook his left arm as he spoke.

"You can't control the tallies, Armin. Your heart does what it wants, you can't make it listen to you." Levi smiled. "Heaven knows I never knew I was going to fall for Eren. He's the first and only guy I've loved, and the only person who my tally turned black for. Maybe the girls I fell for in school could smell the gay on me - just wish they had told me so I wouldn't have had to figure it out for myself when I met Eren."

Armin had heard this anecdote plenty of times, but it still made him chuckle. Eren and Levi had bumped into each other when Eren had turned up for one of Levi's martial arts classes at the local leisure centre, having been knocked out cold in a bar fight the week prior. The second they laid eyes on each other, the black tally mark had appeared on both their wrists, and the rest was history. It had been a few years before Levi had moved in with Eren, Armin and their other high school friend Christa, but he had been welcomed with open arms, as Armin and Christa could plainly see that the two guys were totally smitten with each other.

"Oh Armin?"

"Yeah?" Armin looked up, and Levi was in the kitchen doorway with a sandwich in his hand.

"Don't tell Eren, but I'm popping the question this weekend."

Armin smiled the biggest smile he had all day. "You're finally gonna make an honest man out of my best friend?"

"Yeah. I've been waiting to do it on our anniversary. Keep it on the down low okay? Don't even tell Christa, you know she's a terrible gossip."

"You got it. Let me know when I can start calling you Levi Jaeger!"

Levi rolled his eyes again and made his way down the corridor to his and Eren's room. Armin rummaged in the fridge, grabbing last night's leftover spaghetti bolognese and blitzing it in the microwave. Just as he perched on the barstool to eat, a key turned in the front door and Christa came breezing in.

"I'm home, homos! And Armin!" She laughed. Armin chuckled to himself with his mouth full of spag-bol.

"Are you okay?" She asked him. He gave a noncommittal hum and shrugged his shoulders, then swallowed his food.

"So-so. You?"

Armin may have been Sasha's boyfriend, but Christa and Sasha had been best friends since pre-school, and Armin couldn't help but worry more about her.

"Not bad. The managers let me work the stockroom today so I didn't have to serve customers." Christa worked in the local H&M, not far from Armin's office, and the two often met for lunch.

"That was kind." Armin took another bite of his spaghetti, chewing sluggishly. "Did you see your new girlfriend today?"

"Ymir is NOT my girlfriend!" Christa protested, though she blushed. "She wasn't on the rota for today - Thursdays are her day off."

"Have you finally managed to sneak a look at her wrist?"

"I looked yesterday. It's empty."

"No way!" Armin was intrigued. "You're certain?"

"Definitely. She's never been in love."

"Well if anyone can teach her to love it's gonna be you, Christa."

"Shut it you. I'm gonna take a shower." Christa left the kitchen, leaving Armin alone with his food and his thoughts.

Love, he thought to himself, was obviously a game he wasn't meant to play. Other people made it look so easy, but he had been hurt too many times. He fell too fast and got in too deep, and by the time he was praying for his tally to turn black, he would find out that the girl already had a black mark for someone else, or had a red mark for someone who would never love her back, and try as Armin would, he couldn't make them fall for him instead. He counted off his four red tallies in his mind.

Hanna, whom he had met in music class at age 13, had already been dating Franz. They had married last year and were currently expecting their first child together. Fast forward to age 15 and he had fallen in a big way for Eren's adoptive sister Mikasa, who attended the local private school. That had been a lost cause, as he had found out a year later when he finally told her how he felt that she was head over heels for a guy from the year above her at her school, Jean, who had later been found to be in a secret relationship with Marco, another boy from his year. Mikasa was crushed, and to this very day she had never had a new tally appear.

Aged 17, he had developed feelings for another girl who was already spoken for, a girl named Petra. He never met her boyfriend as he was attending another school, but the black tally on her wrist had said it all. Finally, during his second year of university, he had met a girl by the name of Hanji. She had been the real curveball: there was no significant other, or a non-reciprocated crush. Her wrist had been bare, and always had been. She had openly explained to him that she was both asexual and aromantic, and the two of them had ended up remaining friends after they left university.

And then there had been Sasha. Always cheerful, free-spirited, perpetually hungry Sasha. He had met her again at the school reunion last summer, and their black marks had appeared instantly. He felt fresh tears pricking at his eyes as he dug a hand into his pocket. The box felt cold, and although he knew it was empty, he flipped it open. He had left the diamond ring with the funeral director, asking it to be put on Sasha's left ring finger. The burial had been the worst part of the whole morning. Watching the dirt cover her coffin, something inside him had snapped, and he had fallen to his knees and howled his despair to the sky. He had felt Eren's hand on his shoulder, but nothing could stop his tears. Armin had refused to attend the wake, instead making his way into town, where he had stopped for his coffee, and seen Annie again…

No. He couldn't think about Annie now. He had made himself a promise as he left that afternoon that he would never go back to that coffee shop, never make an effort to see her again.

It would make it easier for her to forget him…


	3. Chapter 3

Unbeknownst to Armin, on the floor directly above him in the very same apartment building was Annie, just getting home after locking up the cafe. She had been able to snatch up the last remaining studio flat in the building, and so far was just managing to scrape the rent together each month with a meagre amount left for food. Her dad was nice enough to send her food packages from the corner shop he ran, and she was always first to take the sell-bys from the cafe. Her co-workers didn't object, as they were well aware of her financial situation. Annie rummaged through the carrier bag of sell-bys and dug out a BLT sandwich, ripping open the box and sitting at her battered desk, which had been rescued from a skip outside her old apartment along with the rickety wooden chair she was perched on. She booted up her laptop and was met with seven emails. Five of them were publishing companies rejecting her novel, and two were spam. She exhaled in frustration and took a contemplative bite of her sandwich.

Something wasn't working. What was it about her novel that wasn't grabbing their attention?

She shot a quick email to her creative writing teacher asking for an opinion, attaching the same excerpt of her novel that she had been sending to the publishers, and then finally allowed her thoughts to stray to her earlier encounter with Armin. She recalled their very first meeting, sat together in the back of Geography class, thanks to their sadistic teacher who insisted on "boy-girl boy-girl" seating plans. At that time, they had been worlds apart - she the uptight, unruffled loner who kept to herself most of the time but was usually counted among the "popular" kids, and he the studious, awkward guy who always had his nose in a book, and got constantly tormented for it by the so called popular crowd Annie was lumped in with.

She had arrived late, and the teacher had pointed her to her seat. As she seated herself next to Armin, he had flinched visibly, and had shuffled his chair towards the wall. He had seemed fearful of her, a result of the cool kids deciding to claim her as one of their kind, when really she wanted nothing to do with any of the cliques at the school. Once they had exchanged a few words during a pair worksheet exercise though, the discomfort had ebbed away somewhat. Despite her demeanour hardly changing, Armin had slowly become less afraid of her over the coming weeks, and so when they were partnered for their end of term project, she was really quite pleased to find that he wasn't scared to spend time with her while they worked.

They formed an unlikely friendship, built on mutual respect for each other. Annie knew she was clever, but hated showing it, and it was refreshing for her to spend time with someone who really embraced his intelligence, someone who didn't need to hide it behind a wall of well-acted apathy. She felt comfortable enough around him to let her guard down occasionally, engaging in intellectual conversations via text at all hours of the day.

Then had come the real test. One day when they had been nearing the end of their final school year, Annie had arrived at school unusually early, only to find Armin being bullied by a group of the "it" crowd. She was shocked to see that someone was kicking him repeatedly in the ribs, and another had started tearing the book he had been reading to pieces in front of him. He was screaming and begging them to stop, tears streaming down his face. If it had been anyone else, Annie would have turned a blind eye. Instead she found herself throwing the person kicking him over her shoulder, snatching the book out of the other's hands, and staring them down.

"From now on, nobody touches Arlert. Got that?"

"Why, you in love with him or something?" someone had asked snidely.

Annie had snorted. "Hardly. This little punk pissed me off in a big way, so the only one who gets to beat his ass is me, understood?"

The group had mumbled their agreement and dispersed, and only then had Annie lifted him from the ground and supported him down the corridor to the school nurse. He had ended up sustaining a couple of broken ribs, and had been taken to hospital. Annie had popped by after school to visit him, and his very first words to her had left her speechless.

"Thank you for saving me, Annie. You… You actually are a nice person, aren't you?"

Those words had stopped her in her tracks, and she had sat down suddenly on the chair next to the bed.

"I never realised that people thought I wasn't nice..."

Armin had chuckled at that, wincing slightly at the pain in his ribs. "Well you walk around like you're constantly giving the world the middle finger, is it any wonder?"

Annie thought about that. "That doesn't mean I don't care about people."

Armin had smiled. "Well... I know that now."

In an instant, Annie's cold hard exterior crumbled into dust, and she found herself embracing Armin, albeit very gently to avoid hurting him.

"I'm really glad you're okay." she had told him, and he had responded by returning her hug.

About two weeks later, the pair had graduated from school, and from then on Annie had sworn to open herself up to more people. In the summer, she had heard from Armin that he was heading to one of the most prestigious universities in the country to study computer sciences. Part of her wished she had bothered to apply to uni, but by then she was already working as a cleaner for a freelance company which cleaned various office buildings around the town, and the pay was pretty good for a newly graduated eighteen year old such as herself. In the seven years since her last encounter with Armin, she had slowly taught herself to be less of a recluse. She would never be an open book as such, but she certainly was no longer the ice queen she had been in school. During this time, she had flitted from job to job, trying to decide what she wanted to do with her life. Writing had originally been a de-stress for her, and only when she realised how much she enjoyed it did she decide she wanted to become an author. She started her creative writing class, and inspiration had flooded in from every direction.

Which had all led up to today. Armin had stumbled into her coffee shop after seven years, somehow stealing her heart in the process. She felt utterly awful that she had managed to fall for him when he had just had to bury Sasha (whom she had never really known in school, though the news of her passing saddened her nonetheless). It was obvious Armin was damaged from years of unrequited love already, as evidenced from his tally marks, and for the one girl who had returned his affections to be taken from him so suddenly... Annie couldn't imagine it. She stared at her new tally in sheer disbelief. Love at first sight was bullshit... But what about love at second sight after a long time apart?

Annie sighed, rubbing her temples to alleviate the headache all this thinking was giving her, then sat back in her chair. Suddenly a crunch echoed around her and the back of the chair snapped clean off, causing her to go crashing to the floor. Her back hit the tiled floor, knocking the wind out of her.

"Shit!" She managed to gasp. Great, just fucking great. She slowly began to sit up, then a shooting pain rippled through her spine and she hissed in agony, lying back down again. What if her back was dislocated? Or twisted? Or even worse, broken? She lay there for a time, contemplating her options. She could call Mina, although she lived on the other side of town, which was nearly an hour away...

After a short while, there was a knocking at the door, and a familiar voice called out to her, although Annie couldn't quite place it.

"Um... H-hello? Are you okay? I'm from the flat downstairs, I heard a crash... Do you need any help?"

"Hi! Err... My chair broke, and I fell on my back... It hurts when I try and get up..." Annie answered the disembodied voice.

"Is your door unlocked? I could come in and help you?"

"I think so, I only just got home."

Annie heard the door handle turn, and the door creaking as it swung open.

"Annie?"

At the sound of her name, Annie turned her head slowly towards the door so as not to hurt herself more. She dimly made out a mop of blonde hair, but when her ice-blue eyes met the person's sea-blue ones, she realised that the man she had just been thinking about was standing right there in her doorway. And he lived in the same apartment building, only one floor down from her.

_Really?_  she thought.  _What were the fucking chances?_


	4. Chapter 4

Armin stood rooted to the spot in the doorway, staring helplessly at the petite blonde who was stuck on her back on the floor. Annie lived here? And only one floor above him? He was mostly shocked that he had never seen her before today, but also uncomfortable after the outcome of their last encounter. He was sure Annie thought he was a total dick for what he said and did earlier.

"Annie, I didn't realise you live-"

"Can you save it, please? I'm in a lot of pain right now." Annie quipped exasperatedly.

"Right, right, of course." Armin made his way over to her, and knelt down beside her, putting all superfluous thoughts aside as he assessed the situation. "I don't think I should move you in case I cause further damage... Where's your phone?"

Annie pointed up at the desk, where she had abandoned her mobile phone, and Armin grabbed it, punching in the number for the emergency services. As he relayed the circumstances to the ambulance department, Annie closed her eyes. It wasn't that she was ungrateful for the help, but why of all people had it turned out to be Armin? Just when she had been about to put him out of her mind and get on with her evening, there he was like some kind of knight in shining armour, like making sure his neighbours were okay was a regular occurrence for him.

"They want to know if you hit your head when you fell?" Annie was snapped out of her thoughts by Armin asking her a question.

"I don't think I did..." Annie experimentally raised her hand and felt the back of her head, wincing suddenly when she was met with a lump. "Okay, make that a yes actually."

Armin continued talking to the paramedics and Annie groaned in pain as she continued to probe the lump on her head. The next thing she registered was Armin hanging up the phone and crossing the apartment to her kitchenette. He opened the freezer, and after a short moment of rummaging around, dug out a bag of frozen potato wedges.

"It's not exactly frozen peas, but they told me to put your head on ice, so here we go." Armin returned to his previous position and gently lifted Annie's head, sliding the bag underneath it, before slowly lowering her back down.

"Jesus on a boat, that's cold as fuck!" she complained, shivering.

Armin looked at her apologetically. "They're sending an ambulance, but they told me to talk to you, to keep you awake in case you have concussion or something."

"Right." Annie was not sure she relished the idea of talking to him, especially after what had happened this afternoon.

"So, um..." Armin was at a loss for words, and he became flustered. "I, uh, had no idea you lived here."

"I've been here nearly a year now." Annie told him. Her words were sharp and curt, but her thoughts were all over the place.

_He's cute when he blushes. Wait, what the FUCK? Now is really not the time. Get it together Annie._

"Look, about earlier..." he began, but she cut him off.

"No, let me. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let you see the mark. I should have kept my big fucking mouth shut, but I went and blurted it out on today of all days when you've just had to bury your goddamn girlfriend. I'm such a fucking asshole." At her words, Armin was stunned into silence. She thought that SHE was the asshole because of what happened earlier? He shook his head, a small smile crossing his features, and Annie was confused. "What?"

"You're not the asshole, Annie. I am. I shouldn't have bolted like that. May I just say though, it's been nice to see the change in your personality after all this time. No offence, but in high school you were mostly kind of a bitch."

Annie gave a snort. "You don't know the half of it. I'm not usually all sunshine and rainbows, but... Screw it, I actually missed you okay? Seven years is a long fucking time, and though I hate to admit it, you were the only person in high school that I ever considered to be my friend."

This floored Armin. "Really?"

"Yup. I think today was the most genuine emotion my co-workers have seen from me since I got the job."

Armin laughed. "You haven't really changed a bit, have you?"

"I wouldn't say that." She found herself smiling back as he laughed. "I can be nice sometimes."

"Well something has definitely changed, after all, the last time we saw each other your wrist was completely bare." Armin pointed out.

Annie realised he was right, she had been tally-less during high school. "I had no idea that you noticed."

"The day you stopped those bullies... You were wearing a tank top, and I saw your wrist then."

The clarity of Armin's memory was surprising to Annie. She certainly did not remember what she had been wearing that day.

"Do you think we can put this afternoon behind us? I'd like to try and be friends again."

"I don't know Annie... Your mark..."

"Is irrelevant. I'm still friends with the other two. Besides, you're in a pretty bad place right now, and I figure you need all the friends you can get."

Armin was touched by her kindness, something even he had not seen from her very often in high school. He smiled.

"I'd like to be friends again too, but we can talk more about this later. Right now we have bigger fish to fry." he told her, at almost the exact instant that the paramedics came into Annie's apartment. Armin rose to his feet and stepped back to let the paramedics do their job. As they lifted Annie onto a stretcher, she locked eyes with Armin.

"Can he come with me?" she asked the paramedics.

"I-I really don't think..." Armin protested, but one of the paramedics smiled.

"Are you her boyfriend, son?"

"N-no. We're... friends. I live downstairs." He blushed slightly.

"We shouldn't really let you, but we need someone to keep her talking, do you mind coming along?"

Armin almost laughed at the question. What choice did he really have?

"I'll come."

After the ambulance ride, Armin had been told to wait in the reception as they ran some X-rays on Annie. He sat twiddling his thumbs, two cups of disgusting vending machine coffee sitting empty on the floor under his chair. Even with the caffeine in his system, Armin could feel himself getting tired, and his eyelids were getting heavier by the second.

"Excuse me, are you here with Miss Leonhart?" a voice asked, and Armin jumped in surprise, looking up into the eyes of a doctor.

"Y-yes, that's me."

"You can see your friend now." Armin rose, and the doctor led him to the ward. Armin was relieved to see that Annie was not in a bed, rather sitting up quite stiffly so as not to hurt herself.

"Hi. What's the verdict?" Armin asked her as he approached.

"Strained a coupled of ligaments. I've got anti-inflammatory meds and I've been told to go about my life as normal but not over-exert myself. They seem to think I'm not concussed so at least I can sleep tonight."

"Okay. Let's go. I'll call for a cab."

Annie got up slowly, wincing. Armin noticed and caught her eye, a silent communication of concern.

"I'm fine. Chill." Annie snapped, trying to march out of the room and remembering that her speed was limited, gasping in pain as her back twitched again.

"Whoa, whoa, easy." Armin rushed to her side, but Annie ignored him, straightening up and continuing out of the room and down the corridor. Armin stopped at the reception area to call a taxi, and Annie continued on outside.

_I do not want to take a taxi with him,_ she thought.  _It's gonna be hideously awkward and he's going to be all over concerned and fuss about, which is really very sweet, but I don't want it!_

"You don't want what? Do you not want us to be friends?"

Annie turned around, and there was Armin, looking utterly crestfallen. She bit her lip, and cursed inwardly.

"How much of that did I say out loud?"

"Probably most of it."

"Ah, crap." Annie sighed. "Look, Armin, this has been very sweet of you and all, and I'd like to be friends with you, really I would, but…"

"But what?"

"But you were right earlier. My mark isn't irrelevant. I don't want to hurt you."

"A-Annie…"

Suddenly the taxi pulled up, and Annie shot him a cold look. "Don't you dare get in this taxi with me." Her words came our far more harshly than she had intended, and before Armin could react she ducked into the cab and was gone without another word.

Armin watched the taxi leave, confused and concerned. Girls were so bloody complicated…

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Rather than call for another cab, Armin opted to walk into the town to the taxi rank. As he walked it started to rain, and he cursed under his breath, his pace quickening as he approached the taxi rank and hopped into the first one, giving his address to the driver. His brain was going a mile a minute as the cab weaved its way through the dark streets. It was true that he didn't really think Annie's mark was irrelevant, but he didn't want that to stop them from trying to be friends. He may not have counted her as his only friend from high school, as he had mostly hung around with Eren and Christa, but there had been something about his friendship with Annie that had been... Different, though in what way Armin couldn't quite say. Despite the endless torment he had suffered in school for his bookish, nerdy behaviour, he was never ashamed to be who he was... Was that the reason he and Annie had clicked? She had built so many walls around her that she had been a mystery even to the "popular" kids, and it had taken Armin a while to get a glance beyond the façade to the real Annie Leonhart. The girl whose knowledge in certain subjects sometimes outshone his own, the girl who had lost her mother at a very young age and as a consequence wasn't keen on getting attached to people for fear of losing them, the girl who, despite her cold-hearted reputation, had stepped in when he was getting beaten up and saved him.

Armin remembered that day as if it were yesterday. As he had lain there, each kick to the ribs causing stabbing sensations in his body, tears flowing from his eyes as he begged for mercy, he remembered seeing a small blonde figure beyond his attackers. The person had stopped for a split second, then rushed forward with alarming speed. As the person kicking him had gone flying over the shoulder of his rescuer, Armin had looked up and seen Annie's piercing blue eyes, blazing with anger and worry. She had turned to Armin's tormentors, spitting a few choice words at them to make them beat a hasty retreat, and finally the act had dropped and she had helped him up (at which time Armin had noticed the lack of tally marks on her arm), supporting him along the corridor to the nurse's office, and later visiting him in hospital. The exchange that had passed between them had both humoured and surprised Armin, especially her hug. Annie had never been affectionate towards him in the slightest since they had known each other, and suddenly she was embracing him. He decided to enjoy it, as he knew it would be the most emotion she would be willing to express in a public place for quite some time.

Armin was jolted back into awareness by the voice of the taxi driver asking for his fare. Armin paid the cabbie and climbed out onto the pavement, a sudden wave of exhaustion washing over him as he walked into the building and rode the lift up to his apartment. Out of nowhere his phone burst into life with a shrill ring, and Armin dug it out from his pocket and accepted the call without even a moment's glance at the screen.

"What?"

"Hey, is that any way to pick up the phone to one of your best pals?"

Armin brightened instantly, recognising the voice of his university friend (and source of his fourth tally mark) Hanji Zoe. "Han! What the hell are you doing calling me this late at night?" He asked.

"Ar, you know I don't sleep, like, ever."

Armin laughed at that. "True enough. How're things? It's been a while."

Hanji's laugh echoed out of Armin's phone into the empty lift. "You always say it's been a while Ar, but you know it's only been like three days. How was this morning?"

"Just as you'd imagine, tear-sodden and depressing as all hell." Armin sighed with a hint of grim sarcasm. "How was your day?"

"That's what I'm calling you about. I... I've got a tally."

Armin stepped out of the lift, only to stop again in surprise as his friend's words registered in his mind.

"Wait. You're kidding, right?"

"I wish I was! I'm so confused, I didn't know who to talk to about it."

"Okay, start from the very beginning."

"Right, so I was just minding my own business at work and suddenly in swoops a tall blonde man with the scariest eyebrows I've ever seen. We make small talk, he says he has to go because he has a meeting with my manager... and then he smiles at me, and my heart just goes crazy! Like I'm thinking of all this stupid cuddly stuff that I've never thought about before and I just don't know what the fuck's gotten into me. Next chance I get I roll up my sleeve and there's that red fucking mark clear as day! What do I do, Ar? I'm freaking the hell out."

"Okay, deep breaths, calm down." Armin said gently, and he listened as she did so. "So when you say your heart went crazy, do you mean with uh... you know... sexy stuff?"

"No, but I just really want to like, you know, cuddle him and tell him I like his eyebrows even though they're scary sometimes."

Armin stifled a laugh. "Well, then I guess you're not aromantic, but still asexual?" He phrased it like a question for fear of saying something offensive.

"See that's what I'm thinking, I just... This has made me question everything I thought I knew about who I am, y'know?"

"It's fine, Han. You know that these kind of things aren't set in stone, they can change with time." Armin pointed out kindly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, I've got work again in a few hours so I better try and get some shuteye! Talk soon, Ar!"

"Sure thing Han. Let me know what happens with Mr Eyebrows, 'kay?"

"Will do! 'Night!"

The call ended with a click and Armin put his phone back in his pocket and dug out his keys, unlocking the door to the apartment. He heard voices in the lounge and popped his head round the door to see Eren and Levi curled up on the sofa watching a movie.

"Hey guys."

"Where the heck did you go earlier? You just disappeared with no warning." Levi asked. Eren looked up at his boyfriend in surprise, raising an eyebrow at the question, before also turning to look at Armin.

"It's a long story and I don't feel like telling it." Armin sighed. "I'm going to bed. Night." This satisfied Eren, who turned back to the TV.

"Fine, night then." Levi said. Armin knew Levi would grill him about it in the morning, but for now he just needed to sleep. He stumbled down the hallway and into his room, throwing off his work uniform with little regard for where it ended up and collapsing into bed clothed in nothing but his underwear. His eyes drifted shut, and soon he was dreaming.

_He was standing in a place devoid of identity, there was only darkness and what looked like rocks around him._

_"Hey, sweetie! Did you miss me?" Armin's head whipped around and there she was, brown ponytail bobbing merrily as she walked towards him._

_"Sash..." Armin's voice cracked, and he began to cry._

_"It's okay, baby. I'm here now." Sasha's arms wrapped around him as his body shook with sobs._

_"Where are we?" he managed to ask her._

_"I don't know, it's your dream, isn't it?" Sasha smiled. Armin peered into the darkness around him, and he could see that he was standing on a cliff edge, and at least twenty metres below him were thousands of sharp, jagged rocks._

_"I guess we're at the beach..." Armin looked at the sea, noticing that the tide was out._

_"Yeah. Look what I can do now!" Sasha suddenly began hovering in the air, and swooped gracefully over the cliff edge, floating in mid-air._

_"I want to be able to do that." Armin joked._

_"You can, silly! Just jump. You'll have to fall first, but then you'll fly. Then we'll be together forever. That's what you want, isn't it?" Sasha raised her left hand, and Armin saw the ring twinkling on her finger._

_"Sash... I-I can't..."_

_"Of course you can. If you love me you'll jump."_

_Armin was shocked. He couldn't react._

_It's just a dream, he thought. Just wake up, and you'll be okay. Why won't you wake up?_

_"You aren't the real Sasha! You're just a character I've invented in my head! The real Sasha would never tell me to kill myself to be with her!" Armin's voice echoed, and Sasha laughed._

_"Well of course. But you made me up, so what does that say about you?"_

_Armin blinked in shock, and suddenly Sasha was no longer in front of him. He felt a rough shove at his lower back and heard a manic laugh, and he was falling down, down, down, his descent punctuated with Sasha calling to him. "I'll see you soon baby! I love you!"_

Armin screamed as he woke up, sitting bolt upright and panting heavily. He raised a shaky hand to his face, and among his sweat he found tears dripping from his eyes. He heard a knock at his door.

"Armin, honey? Did you have another nightmare?" Christa called out.

"Y-yeah, but its fine, just go back to bed." Armin insisted, his voice strained.

"Oh... Okay... Sleep well." He heard footsteps as Christa returned to her bedroom, and he wiped his face with the back of his hand and curled up in bed again, waiting for sleep to reclaim him.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Unfortunately, after his nightmare, Armin's brain had refused to let him sleep, and he had lain in bed all night unable to doze off again. At around 7 o'clock he dragged himself to the bathroom to shower. He stood there, the warm water hitting his body, and sighed. It wasn't the first time his sleep had been interrupted by a nightmare since it happened. He had dreams of Sasha dissolving before his very eyes, of her being taken away from him by dark, unrecognisable figures, and many more. Every dream ended with her saying the same words to him, the final words she had spoken to him before she had died: "I'll see you soon, baby! I love you!"

Armin wondered if it was normal. Probably not, he thought to himself as he climbed out of the shower and dried himself off with his towel. Currently the rota at work had given him Fridays as his day off, and yet he was still up with the lark every Friday morning. Armin strolled back to his room wrapped in his towel, pulled on a clean pair of boxers and flopped back onto his bed, opening the book that was sitting on the nightstand. He had barely been reading for a few seconds when there was a knock at his door.

"Come in." Levi opened Armin's door.

"So, you mind telling me where you disappeared to last night?"

"Long story short, I heard a crash upstairs, went to investigate, turns out my old school friend who I saw yesterday lives there, she hurt her back, I went to the hospital with her."

"Right. So what's the catch?"

Armin sighed. "She... has a tally for me. It showed up when we met in the cafe yesterday."

"Damn." Levi looked thoughtful. "That's one hell of a situation."

"You're telling me." Armin gave a half-hearted grin.

"So what are you gonna do?"

"Stay away from her, I guess."

Levi was surprised. "Dude, that's kind of fucked up. You know she didn't mean for it to happen, and you said she was your friend, right?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"But nothing. Friendship comes first. Heck, given enough time you might even fall for her too. You know Sasha wouldn't have wanted you to sit around moping."

Armin knew Levi was right, and he sighed again. Before Armin could open his mouth again, Levi was gone. Armin closed his book and checked his phone. He had two unread messages from Hanji:

**From: Hanji Zoe, 7:15am**

_Mr Eyebrows = Erwin Smith. Today he said he liked my glasses!_

**From: Hanji Zoe, 7:18am**

_AR, HE HAS THE ACE FLAG TATTOOED ON HIS UPPER ARM! THAT MEANS HE'S LIKE ME! :D_

Armin smiled from ear to ear. It looked like things would work out for them if Hanji could get up the courage to ask him out.

**To: Hanji Zoe, 7:32am**

_Ask him out then! You have nothing to lose!_

Armin decided to make breakfast, and wandered into the kitchen, where Christa was sat eating some cereal.

"Did you get back to sleep okay after your nightmare?" she asked.

"Yeah." Armin lied, opening the fridge.

"Oh, I don't know if you've seen Eren this morning, but he had an email from Mikasa last night. She's finally coming to visit us."

Armin smiled. It would be good to see Mikasa again. The Jaeger family had adopted Mikasa when she and Eren were both seven years old, as Mrs Jaeger was left unable to bear more children after Eren's birth, but had very badly wanted a daughter too. At age thirteen, Mikasa took several school-provided tests and was found to have an incredibly high IQ. As a result she was granted a full scholarship to a nearby private school, so Armin and Christa had seen less and less of her. Then, when they had all parted ways after high school, she had decided to go back to her native country of Japan to continue her studies there. They kept in touch with emails, Skype calls and the occasional postcard when Mikasa found one with a nice photo of something Japanese on it, but over the past couple of years the communication had broken down somewhat. Eren had been quite worried, and Armin knew that the news of her visit must have been very welcome to him.

"That's great! I hope she's been well."

"Yeah, it has been forever since we heard from her properly." Christa agreed, finishing her breakfast. "I'm on an early shift today so I'd better get going. See you tonight!"

"See ya!" Armin called. A short while after Christa left, Armin heard the door open and close again, and Eren came in with the post from downstairs.

"Morning. Any interesting post today?"

"Just bills, as usual." Eren said, putting them down on the counter. "Did Christa tell you about Mikasa's email?"

"She did. Are you excited?"

"I guess. I'm still worried though, I want to know why she's been so bad at keeping in touch the past few years."

"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation." Armin said, as there was a knock at the door. "Guess Christa forgot her keys again." He chuckled, walking out into the hallway and opening the door. However, the small blonde girl standing before him was most definitely not Christa.

"Hello, Armin."

"A-Annie... Hi..."

"Armin! I've just checked Christa's room, she definitely has her k-" Eren stopped mid sentence as he realised that it was most certainly not Christa at the door.

"Eren, you remember Annie, don't you? From school?" Armin said weakly, gesturing to Annie. Recognition flickered onto Eren's features, and he smiled.

"Of course I do! Had no idea you were still in this neck of the woods."

"Closer than you'd think. I live upstairs."

"Huh! Well what do ya know? It sure is a small world." Eren turned to call into the flat. "Hey, Levi! Come meet Annie!"

Levi's head popped around the kitchen doorway, followed by the rest of him as he walked down to join them.

"Annie, this is Levi, Eren's boyfriend." Armin said, and Annie shook hands with Levi.

"It's a pleasure. I'd love to stay, but I have to get to work. See you later." Levi said as he grabbed his bag from the floor. He gave Eren a quick kiss on the cheek and Armin a friendly punch to the arm (punctuated with a barely audible whisper of "I knew she'd be cute"), and then he was gone down the stairs.

"I gotta get going too, I have a meeting at the job centre." Eren said, shrugging on his coat and scarf. "Nice seeing you again, Annie." He headed in the same direction Levi had and was gone.

"So, Jaeger's gay, huh?"

"Yeah. Those two have been together five years as of this weekend." Armin said, as he awkwardly stood in the doorway, staring at the floor to avoid looking Annie in the eye. "Uh, so, if you don't mind me asking, why are you here?"

"Well... I remembered that during your rambling last night in the ambulance you said you had a day off today, and I called work to tell them about my back and they said I could take paid sick leave today and come back in on Monday... So I thought... we could maybe, you know, talk?"

Armin looked up, but still couldn't quite meet Annie's gaze. "About what?"

Annie sighed. "I don't know, anything. Let's fill each other in on what's happened in the seven years since we last saw each other or something."

There was a pause, then Armin spoke. "So, what you said last night...?"

"Was incredibly rude, and I'm sorry. I was in pain, and pretty spaced out from the meds, and I hate hospitals in general so I was uncomfortable and irritable. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Armin smiled softly. "I forgive you." He said, and Annie smiled back. "So, want to come in? I was about to have breakfast, I'm sure I can make you something too."

"That sounds really nice." Annie stepped into the apartment and Armin closed the front door.

"Kitchen's just in here." They walked in, and Armin noticed Annie looking around in awe.

"How do you guys afford this place?"

Armin felt bad as he remembered Annie's tiny studio flat upstairs. "Well we aren't exactly rich, but all of us except Eren have a job, and Eren only became unemployed recently so we manage okay on everyone's salaries."

"I see. And by everyone, you mean yourself, Eren, Levi..."

"And Christa. Christa Lenz, also from high school?" Armin did not expect Annie to remember but to his surprise she smiled and nodded.

"I remember Christa, she sat in front of me in English class."

Armin went over to the fridge. "So, what do you want to eat? I think we have the ingredients for pancakes if you feel like it…"

"That sounds great."

 


	7. Chapter 7

"I can't believe you offered me pancakes without knowing how to make them!" Annie sighed exasperatedly. Armin looked down despondently at the hideous charred mess he had made in the frying pan.

"It looked so easy when Christa made them..." Annie gave a small laugh and patted him on the back.

"Look, never mind. Let's go out someplace for breakfast. Isn't there a little old-fashioned tearoom just down the road from here?"

"Yeah..." Armin opened the bin and scraped the 'pancake' off the frying pan and into the black plastic bag, where it landed with a disgusting squelchy thump. He then ran some hot water and washing up liquid into the pan and left it to soak in the sink. "I'm sorry, Annie."

"You don't have to apologise. Just pay for our breakfast at the tearoom and you'll be forgiven." At this, Armin's face finally broke into a small smile, and the two left the apartment and walked down the stairs and out into the chilly autumn morning. Annie shivered visibly, and Armin noticed that she wasn't wearing a coat.

"Where's your coat? Annie, you'll freeze to death wearing only a shirt."

"I couldn't put it on, my back hurt too much when I tried." Annie explained, rubbing her bare arms to try and warm herself up.

"Take mine." Armin said, shrugging his enormous duffle coat off his shoulders.

"Armin, no, then you'll be cold." Annie protested, but Armin draped it around her anyway. The garment was enormous on her, and she even stumbled a little under its weight.

"Jesus, this is huge! You really did become a man after high school, huh?"

Armin blushed slightly. "Yeah, well... I started going to the gym at uni, and I guess my muscles finally caught up with my bones."

Annie laughed. "You've gotten taller too, you've grown at least another foot since high school." Annie's hands slipped into the pockets on the coat, and she flipped absentmindedly through the loose coins and gum wrappers with her cold fingers, until she found something strange, and closed her hand around it. "What's this?" She mumbled, mostly to herself, but Armin heard her.

"Hey, I didn't say you could go through my pock..." Armin froze as Annie's hand withdrew from the pocket clutching the familiar blue velvet box.

"A ring box?" Annie frowned and flipped it open. "It's empty."

"Yeah... It used to contain an engagement ring." Armin said, his eyes fixed firmly on the box.

"Oh, Armin..." Annie was silent for a long moment. "Had you already given it to her, or...?"

"No. I was going to propose when she got back from visiting her family, on the weekend when she..." Armin shook himself. "I left it with the funeral director. She was buried wearing it."

Annie nodded, putting the box back in Armin's pocket.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been nosing around in your pockets..."

"No no, it's okay, your hands must be cold too. Leave them in there." Armin smiled kindly, although something in his eyes betrayed his grief. Annie obeyed though, and without thinking her hands went back to exploring the contents of Armin's pockets as the pair resumed walking. Armin looked up, realising they were approaching the tearoom, and was about to lead the way in when he heard Annie mumble "the fuck?" Armin turned his head, and groaned when he realised what Annie was holding.

"Cigarettes, Armin? Are you fucking kidding me? After what happened to your grandfather?" Armin looked shocked. "Yeah, I remember that, even after seven years!"

"It's not what you think..." Armin started. "I'm not..."

"Not addicted? Don't give me that bullshit, Armin Arlert."

Armin flinched at Annie's use of his full name. "I don't want to talk about this." He stared at the ground, shuffling his feet awkwardly. "Can we just go inside? I'm starving."

Annie's expression softened slightly. "Alright. But only if you promise to explain once we've ordered."

Armin sighed. "Okay." They walked into the tearoom in uncomfortable silence and ordered their breakfast and two mugs of hot chocolate. They sat down at a table by the window, sipping their beverages, and Annie held the cigarettes up in a wordless demand for an explanation. Armin took a deep breath.

"I was helping Sasha quit. She left that box of cigarettes with me the day she set off to visit her family, to show me she could manage a whole weekend without them. Next thing I know, she's gone. The moment my tally became a scar, I snapped, ran outside and lit up a cigarette. It tasted so vile that I vomited everywhere, coughing and hacking, but... it was a distraction. So... When I feel worst, I spark one up and smoke it as fast as I can, make myself feel as gross as possible, anything to fill the emptiness... And the smoke... it smells like her, it makes me feel like part of her is still with me..." Armin's voice trembled and faded out to nothing but a whisper, his eyes filling with tears. Annie placed a hand on his arm, and handed the cigarettes back to him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lecture you. It's just starting to dawn on me how much you've changed since we last met." Annie looked out of the window, her expression unreadable.

"Hey, I haven't changed much. I still have that stupid Periodic table song on my iTunes." Armin said with a small yet watery smile, and Annie laughed softly. "Although... I still can't believe it's been seven years, you know? It feels like only yesterday that we graduated high school."

"Well, let's fill in the blanks. Let's talk about what's happened since then, like I said earlier." Annie suggested as their plates of food arrived.

"Only if you don't mind me talking with my mouth full, I'm ravenous." Armin said as he lifted a forkful of his scrambled eggs to his mouth.

Annie laughed. "Don't worry, I'll be doing the same."

 


	8. Chapter 8

"So the next thing I remember is waking up on the sofa in the morning, there's shaving foam ALL over my face, Hanji's passed out on the coffee table spooning a traffic cone, and Nanaba and Mike are on the floor duct-taped together at the ankles." Armin finished his anecdote with a grin as Annie laughed loudly. An hour or two had passed and the conversation had changed from Annie's time spent job-hopping to Armin's university days.

"Did you seriously not remember anything?"

"I told you, it was the first time I got to celebrate my birthday at university, everyone was buying me drinks the whole night! Safe to say, I was a total mess, the stories they told me will haunt me forever." Armin took a sip of his third hot chocolate of the morning.

"Come on, you can't just leave it at that! I wanna know what drunk Armin got up to." Annie prodded his arm playfully, and he flinched.

"But it's so embarrassing!" Armin protested, blushing.

"Spill the beans, Arlert." Annie insisted.

"Well... It was discovered on that night that I turn into a bit of a slut when I'm drunk... I apparently kissed three guys and five girls, gave a lap dance to two of the guys at the same time, and tried to piggyback one of the girls to the kebab shop and dropped her into a puddle before falling on her and managing to kick her phone down a drain. She then proceeded to give me one hell of a bitch slap to the face, crawl over to look down the drain to see if she could see her phone, then puke into it. I just got up and ran away, screaming at Mike and Nanaba that it was too late for her and we should save ourselves."

Annie's shoulders were shaking with her laughter, and Armin's cheeks reddened even more.

"I'd like to see this intoxicated version of you, he sounds like a barrel of fun." Annie finally said as her giggles subsided.

"So you're saying I'm not fun when I'm sober?" Armin asked, feigning offence at her words.

Annie rolled her eyes and prodded him again. "Idiot, you know that's not what I mean."

An amicable silence ensued, as the two finished their drinks and gathered up their belongings. Armin paid the bill and they left the tearoom, walking side by side, Armin carrying his coat over one arm now that the sun had finally come out and warmed the air.

"So..." Armin began tentatively. "I have to ask, who were your first two tallies? Just out of curiosity."

"Ah, that old chestnut. You were bound to ask sooner or later I guess." Annie took a deep breath. "During my second job as a bartender I met this guy by the name of Reiner. He came into the bar a couple nights in a row and refused to buy his drinks from anyone but me. He called me princess... and I guess it kinda made me feel special y'know?" Armin nodded. "Anyway, we go on a couple of dates, and my tally appears, and though it was red I was sure it was just early days and I could make him fall for me too. The fourth date, we end up back at my place, one thing starts leading to another, suddenly he stops, tells me he can't do it. I didn't know how to respond, so I smacked him one. Then he explained that he'd got a tally for another girl, and it was black, but she was pushing him away because of bad experiences in the past, and although he was attracted to me physically he realised he couldn't just ignore the situation he was in with the other girl. We agreed to stay friends but we don't talk much."

Armin nodded. "Still, what he did was pretty considerate of him, I suppose."

"Yeah. Anyway, I told one of the regular female customers about it the next day at work and she told me she'd had a similar problem with a guy a few years back. We ended up kinda bonding over the experiences, exchanged numbers and kept in touch. About a month later, she invited me to go to a club with her and some of her friends when my shift ended, and I accepted. She meets me at the bar, and with her is a buddy of hers by the name of Bertholdt, and she told me he was the designated driver as he straight up had an allergy to alcohol, can you believe?" Annie rolled her eyes, and Armin laughed. "He and I hit it off right away, we had a lot in common, so we start hanging out pretty regularly. A few months after we met I got my red tally for him, but I had learned my lesson from what happened with Reiner and didn't force anything. If it was meant to be, it would happen. Needless to say, it didn't. Turns out he's gayer than Neil Patrick Harris in a glitter factory." Annie finished with a rueful little grin, and Armin burst out laughing at her comparison.

"Do you still talk to him?"

"Pretty often. He's kind of been my rock for the last few years." Her phone buzzed as she spoke, and she fished it out of her pocket.

"Good lord, speak of the devil. I forgot I told him about my back last night, he's at my apartment right now trying to check up on me like the mother hen he is." She explained as she read the text and sent him a reply. "I've told him I'm on the way back. You want to meet him?"

"Sure, I guess."

* * *

"Annie, darling, what in the world were you doing out with no coat on? That's not going to help your back injury in the slightest!" The towering man rushed over to Annie as she and Armin stepped out of the elevator into the corridor.

"Bertl, seriously, I'm fine." Annie sighed as the man tentatively embraced her, clearly trying to avoid hurting her.

"That is not the point! You are injured, and you should be taking steps to make yourself get better as quickly as possible!"

"Um... She wore my coat." Armin piped up, and he felt two pairs of eyes turn to him.

"So you're the famous Armin! It's a pleasure to meet you! I'm Bertholdt, but feel free to call me Bertl." Bertholdt released Annie and pulled Armin into a hug, trapping Armin's arms by his sides, so he awkwardly stood there waiting for the hug to end, crushed into the taller man's chest.

"Nice to meet you too Bertl." Armin said as Bertholdt released him.

"Stand still, let me look at you!" Bertholdt held Armin by the shoulders, and Annie buried her face in her hands as Bertholdt looked Armin up and down. "Annie, sweetie, he's even more gorgeous than you said! I'm jealous!"

Annie turned beet red, staring pointedly at the floor. "Bertl, shut up."

"Relax, I'm just giving the guy a compliment!" Bertholdt turned back to Armin, who was also blushing profusely. "You're not one of those dreadfully awkward straight dudes that can't take compliments from other guys, are you?"

"Bertl!" Annie snapped warningly. "His best friend has a boyfriend."

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry sweetie." Bertholdt looked mortified. "Of course, I never expected anything less from a friend of yours Annie. You've always been a stellar judge of character."

"Except for my faulty gaydar." She joked, pointing a finger at Bertholdt and making a beeping sound.

"Can't be helped, honey. I'm just so good at blending in with all you lovely heterosexuals." Bertholdt grinned, and Annie laughed. Armin's face broke into a small smile. He had a feeling he would get on just fine with this guy.

"Anyway, are you coming in Bertl?" Annie asked him as she took out the keys to her flat. "I've got that coffee syrup you like."

"Darling, you had me at coffee!" Bertholdt followed Annie to her door eagerly, and Armin hesitated.

"I really should get back, I'm really behind on laundry…"

"Oh come on, you! We have so much to discuss! Annie never tells me anything about her school days, I want to hear all the juicy gossip!" Bertholdt grabbed Armin by the arm and dragged him into Annie's flat. Annie caught Armin's eye and mouthed a quick "sorry" in his direction. Armin shrugged and smiled at her. He could think of worse ways to spend the morning…

* * *

Meanwhile, one floor below them, a young woman stepped out of the lift.

"Mama?"

Mikasa Ackerman looked down at her two-year-old daughter. "Don't worry sweetheart. We're going to be safe here."

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: TRIGGER WARNING - RAPE MENTIONS

"You're not serious?" Armin was surprised and intrigued.

"Oh yeah, the Bertl you see before you today is the result of five years of me trying to coax him out of his shell. When we met you were as shy as anything, right Bertl?"

"Believe it or not, she's right. I used to be really introverted and awkward. I remember that on the night I first met Annie, the main reason the two of us bonded was the fact that we sat in the corner the whole time refusing to dance." Armin laughed as he stirred his coffee. "She told me about how she was trying to be more open with people, and suggested that I do the same, and we help each other do it."

"Which worked much better for you, obviously." Annie teased, elbowing Bertholdt playfully.

"I am but the product of your encouragement, darling. You created the monster that stands before you." Bertholdt reminded her, and Annie rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. It still took you five years to be this confident around people."

"That's as may be, but at least now nobody's going to mistake me for a straight man again." Bertholdt chuckled, lifting his mug and draining the last of his coffee.

"So you finally admit that you're as much to blame as I am for my tally?" Annie said, feigning shock. "It's only taken you half a decade!"

"I never denied that I was potentially at fault for your feelings for me!" Bertholdt said, shaking his head.

Armin smiled as he watched their easy-going interactions. He hoped he'd be able to find the same kind of friendship with Annie again. Suddenly he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket.

"Sorry guys, phone call." He said, answering the call.

"Hello?"

" _Armin? It's me, Mikasa. Are you at home right now?"_

Armin was shocked. "Mikasa?! Are you here?"

" _Yeah. I tried ringing the doorbell but nobody answered."_

"I'm only upstairs, I'll be down in a second. Bye." Armin ended the call. "Uh, that was Eren's adopted sister. She's here to visit and nobody's home, so I need to go let her in and help her get settled and stuff."

Annie nodded. "Do you want us to help?"

"No no, that's okay." Armin smiled. "I don't want to overwhelm her, she's probably pretty jetlagged." He got up and headed for the door, but not before Bertholdt had risen too and grabbed him into a hug.

"See you again soon, Armin!" Bertholdt said with a grin.

"Down, boy. He doesn't swing your way." Annie teased, also crossing the room. She hugged Armin once Bertholdt had released him. "See you later."

"Yeah. Oh wait! Let's exchange numbers." Armin pulled out his phone and Annie and Bertholdt both gave him their numbers. Armin then left Annie's flat, dashing down the stairs. As he descended onto the lower floor, he saw her standing there, and she turned her head at the sound of his footsteps.

"Armin?"

"Mikasa!"

Armin jogged the last few steps and embraced his old friend. Mikasa returned the hug.

"Mama? Who this?"

Armin was shocked yet again, and pulled away from his friend's embrace to see a tiny little girl with dark hair staring up at him in confusion.  _Yeah, you and me both, kid,_ Armin thought. Mikasa bent down and picked the child up.

"Armin… This is Hanabi. She's my daughter."

* * *

A short while later, Armin and Mikasa were sitting in the living room of the apartment, watching Hanabi explore her new surroundings curiously. Mikasa had introduced Armin to her daughter as "Uncle Armin", which had made Armin's heart swell with pride, although he was still suspicious about the situation he was presented with.

"So… Your daughter, huh? Any chance I'm going to hear an explanation for why we haven't heard about her sooner?" Armin asked. "You know, like maybe when she was born?"

Mikasa looked uncomfortable. "It's a long story, and it's not a happy one either."

"Mikasa?" Armin looked concerned. "Is she… Were you…?"

For the first time since Jean rejected her in high school, Armin saw Mikasa cry. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed loudly.

"Mama!" Hanabi ran over, wrapping herself around her mother's leg. "It okay. Love you!"

"I love you too, sweetheart." Mikasa pulled her daughter into a tight hug, dripping tears onto the toddler's little pink dress. Armin reached out a hand and placed it on Mikasa's shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly.

"I d-don't even know who her father is. He grabbed me one night when I was going out to buy some last minute groceries. I fought back, naturally, but he got hold of my arms and knocked my head against the floor. I was out cold, and he…" Mikasa released Hanabi and curled her knees up to her chest. "I woke up in a hospital bed. I was apparently found by an elderly woman who lived nearby."

"Oh god, Mikasa, I'm so sorry." Armin pulled her into a hug. "If only Eren or I had been there…"

"Don't blame yourself. I was reckless. I forgot that walking the streets of somewhere like Tokyo was a whole different game than back here in arse-end-of-nowhere England."

Armin gave a small laugh.

"I… I was going to give her up for adoption… But when she was born, they asked me if I wanted to hold her. I said yes without thinking, and the second she was in my arms I knew I couldn't let her go. She… She's beautiful, no matter where she came from, and I love her." Mikasa smiled through her tears. "But after two years of trying to raise her in Tokyo, I realised I couldn't feel safe there anymore. I didn't want to bring my daughter up in a place I was scared of, so I… I'm back for good."

Armin was about to open his mouth to speak, but at that moment, Armin and Mikasa heard a key turn in the lock. Hanabi jumped in fright, throwing herself into Mikasa's lap.

"Armin? Are you in?"

"In the lounge, Eren." Armin called back. Mikasa gently lifted Hanabi off her lap and onto the sofa, and she rose to her feet. Eren appeared in the doorway, and his jaw dropped.

"Mikasa?! Oh my god! I wasn't expecting you for another few weeks after your email arrived last night!" Eren grabbed his sister into a rib-crushing hug, and Mikasa returned it with equal enthusiasm.

"Eren… I'm home."

"Wait… What do you mean? I thought this was just a visit…"

"Unca Armim! Play wif me?" Hanabi piped up, clambering onto Armin's knees. Eren's head snapped up and saw Armin sitting on the sofa with the tiny toddler in his lap.

"What the…"

"Eren, it's okay. This is my daughter, Hanabi. Sweetie, come say hi to Uncle Eren."

"Unca Erem…" Hanabi tried out the words for size. "Unca Erem!" She rolled unceremoniously out of Armin's lap and dashed over, wrapping herself tightly around Eren's legs.

"She's having a little trouble pronouncing her "N's" right now, but we're getting there." Mikasa said with a loving smile down at her child. Eren's expression was unreadable, and he opened his mouth slowly.

"D-Daughter… She's two years old, right? Is she the reason why you haven't been talking to us much for two years? Because of her?"

Mikasa nodded. "I'm sorry Eren. I've been trying to stick it out on my own looking after her, but I can't do it alone… I need help." Her eyes were brimming with tears again, and Eren pulled Mikasa back into a hug.

"We'll help you. We're family. You, me, Armin, Levi, Christa. We'll be your safety net, Mikasa."

Armin smiled at his best friend. The origin of Mikasa's child was a story Eren could hear another day. Right now the important thing was helping Mikasa and Hanabi get settled back home where they belonged. Although, as he watched mother and daughter interact, he couldn't help but think about how great Sasha would have been as a mother...

 


	10. Chapter 10

After a long day of moving things around in the apartment to accommodate Mikasa and her daughter, Armin and Eren at last collapsed on the barstools in the kitchen with cups of tea in hand just as Christa came in from work.

"Evening!" she called.

"Hey Christa." Eren called out tiredly.

"Eren you sound exhausted, what's up?" Christa popped her head around the kitchen door.

"Mikasa's here."

"Already?" Christa said. "That was sudden!"

"You're telling us." Armin said with a small grin. "She's just in the lounge putting Hanabi down for a nap."

"Who's Hanabi?" Christa asked, a baffled expression crossing her face.

"My daughter." A voice came from behind Christa, and Mikasa wrapped her arms around the blonde. "It's good to see you again Christa."

"Mikasa!" Christa spun around to hug her friend. "You have a daughter?"

"Yeah. I'd introduce her, but she's asleep right now, I just got her to doze off. Naptime isn't getting any easier, she's as stubborn as a mule." Mikasa gave a tired chuckle, releasing Christa.

"Stubborn eh? I wonder who she gets that from?" Eren joked, sipping his tea.

"Can it, baby brother. I may be a mother now, but I can still kick your ass into next Tuesday."

"Such vulgar language from a parent!" Eren tutted, then her pet name registered with him. "Hey! I told you not to call me baby brother! I'm only two months younger than you!"

Armin and Christa both laughed.

"Honestly you two, you've barely been reunited half a day and you're tearing each other's throats out already." Armin said with a smirk. "It's just like old times."

"You can say that again." Christa giggled. "Remember in P.E. when Eren insisted he could lift me above his head with one arm, and dropped me on the crash mat before he even picked me halfway up?"

Armin laughed. "Yeah! And then Mikasa just picked you up and balanced you on her head like you weighed nothing at all!"

"Eren's face was a picture!"

The two blondes were laughing hysterically, and a hint of a grin crossed Mikasa's lips as Eren scowled.

"That was the summer before you left for private school." Christa recalled. "That was why we were messing around so much. We got such a telling-off from Mr Pixis."

"Oh yeah! He made us stay in at lunch and re-inflate all the netballs and footballs, remember?" Armin added.

"That was a load of bull! We hardly did anything wrong!" Eren exclaimed, incensed by the memory of childhood injustice.

"Eren, you could have given Christa concussion!" Mikasa pointed out.

"So could you if you'd happened to drop her!"

"But I  _didn't_ drop her.  _You_ dropped her."

"Who's getting concussion now?" The four had been so busy reminiscing that they hadn't heard the door open and Levi arriving home.

"Hey, Levi! We didn't see you there. How was work?" Christa asked him.

"Tedious at best." Levi said with a roll of his eyes. "Ah, you're Mikasa. Eren introduced us over Skype a few years back. I'm Levi."

"Yes, of course, the famous Levi." Mikasa said. Her tone was pleasant enough, but Armin could see an iciness in her expression that worried him. Eren must have seen it too, because he crossed the room to wrap his arms around Levi.

"Missed you today."

Levi rolled his eyes again. "Missed you too, idiot." He returned the taller guy's embrace and planted a kiss on Eren's cheek. Armin saw Mikasa relax visibly, and he exhaled in relief.

"Anyway, could I take a shower?" Mikasa asked.

"Sure. You know where the bathroom is." Armin said with a smile. Mikasa left the room, and shortly the wails of a toddler filled the apartment.

"Goddamnit." Eren muttered. Mikasa appeared again, carrying a distressed Hanabi in her arms.

"Can someone calm her down? I really need to shower." Mikasa begged.

Levi immediately hightailed it to his and Eren's room, with Eren in hot pursuit.

"Please?" Mikasa looked at Armin with pleading eyes. Armin sighed, and begrudgingly held out his arms for the bawling two-year-old. "Thank you!" Mikasa darted out of the room and down to the bathroom. Armin looked from Christa, to Hanabi, and back to Christa.

"Help me, please." Armin groaned. Christa giggled.

"Come on. Anyone would think you're holding a land mine, not a child."

"Well they both make loud noises and cause a lot of pain." Armin pointed out, and Christa shook her head in exasperation.

"I'll help if you pay me in pizza."

"Deal."

* * *

Upstairs in Annie's studio flat, Annie and Bertholdt had been having a video game day, and had decided to play co-op on Annie's ancient PS3 copy of Portal 2.

"I told you already, that's not how we solve this room!" Annie shouted as the hard light bridge disappeared from under Bertholdt's character and he fell into the water again.

"I know. It's just funny watching you rage, darling." Bertholdt said, a smirk on his face.

"You're ridiculous." Annie sighed, throwing her controller down and bunching up at the end of her tiny moth-eaten sofa. Bertholdt frowned.

"Come on, I was only messing around." He put down his own controller, ignoring the condescending voice of GLaDOS coming from the television as he put a hand on his friend's arm.

"It's not you… I… shit." Annie exhaled sharply. "It's Armin."

"Oh honey, I know. Love's a bitch. But give the poor boy the benefit of the doubt. He just buried the girl he thought he was gonna spend forever with, he's hurting badly. He may be smiling and joking around but I saw it all over his face. He's displacing his grief to get through the day, and it's gonna hit him hard every now and again. Time is a great healer."

Annie looked up at Bertholdt through her hair. "How did you get so smart about this stuff?"

"Call it my homosexual intuition." He gave a wink, and a tiny smile found its way onto Annie's face. She leaned down to pick up her controller.

"Right then. Can you pull your head out of your own arse far enough to listen to what I tell you to do on this level?"

Bertholdt laughed. "There's the Annie I love to hate. Let's do this."

* * *

Armin watched from the doorway to the lounge as Christa lay Hanabi down in her cot, singing softly to the toddler. He quietly retreated into the kitchen, not wanting to cause any further disruption. A sudden wave of exhaustion overcame him, and he stumbled into the breakfast bar accidentally, knocking his coat down from where he had carelessly dumped it earlier that day. That familiar little blue box came bouncing out of his pocket and onto the tiled floor, and Armin's eyes locked onto it.

"Armin? I think she's finally aslee- Armin?" Christa came into the kitchen and could see Armin was zoned out. "Armin!"

"Huh? Oh, great. So about that pizza…" Armin's voice was strained, and Christa walked over.

"You need to stop carrying that box around." she whispered, hugging him from behind. Armin's whole body went limp and he fell to his knees, dragging poor Christa with him. He turned around and buried his face in Christa's shoulder, sobbing violently, and for the first time since the day had heard the news of Sasha's death, Christa began to cry too. The two blondes sat there on the kitchen floor for what seemed like an age, holding each other as they cried themselves out. Christa was the first to move, picking up the ring box.

"From now on, you leave this at home. No more carrying it around."

"Christa, please… I can't…"

"You're only hurting yourself. It has to stop."

"Give it back!" Armin lunged at Christa, knocking her backwards. Christa fell flat on her back and knocked her head hard against the tiles.

"Oww!" Fresh tears formed in Christa's eyes as she lay there.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, Christa!" Armin scrambled over to her, helping her sit up. "Are you okay? Oh my god, I'm really, really sorry…" The panic was rising in his voice, and Christa shushed him with a finger to his lips.

"It's okay. You didn't do it on purpose." Christa locked eyes with Armin. "But I mean it. You can't keep carrying this around, it's not helping you." She held up the ring box.

Armin looked down at the floor. "You're right. Keep it somewhere out of my sight."

Christa got to her feet, and extended a hand down to Armin. He took it and hauled himself up off the floor. The two exchanged another hug.

"Thank you, Armin."

"For what? I should be thanking you." Armin asked her as she stepped out of his arms.

"For letting me cry with you. I… I haven't let myself cry since it happened… I needed this."

Christa left the room, and Armin picked up his coat at long last, sticking his hand in the pocket and grabbing Sasha's cigarettes and lighter. He threw his coat on and left the apartment to go outside.

He wondered how many cigarettes he would need to numb the pain tonight…

 


	11. Chapter 11

The remainder of Friday and most of Saturday passed uneventfully, and when the evening rolled around Armin was helping Levi get ready for his date with Eren.

"Which tie looks best with the shirt?" Levi asked as he threw a couple of different ties onto the bed.

"Uhh…" Armin picked a few up, comparing them to the colour of the shirt. "This green one."

"Thanks." Levi looked calm on the outside, but Armin could see a bead of sweat running down his face, and his hands were shaky as he fastened the tie around his neck.

"Levi, you have to chill out." Armin told him with a smile. "I've known Eren since I was five years old, and I can tell you that he's not going to say no to you. You guys are in love. Just be your usual moody bitchy self, that's what Eren loves about you." He winked, and Levi rolled his eyes.

"You ass." Levi grumbled, elbowing Armin in the ribs, but he cracked a grin all the same. "It's just… This feels like a big deal, y'know?"

Armin smiled. "Yeah, I get it. But honestly, you look just fine, and nothing will go wrong. Relax."

Levi nodded, patting the pocket of his trousers to check for the ring. "I'm gonna brush my teeth." He left his room and Armin wandered out into the lounge, where Eren was sat watching some weird animated Japanese show about giant humanoid monsters eating people.

"I honestly don't know what you see in these cartoons Eren." Armin said, shaking his head.

"They're not cartoons, they're  _anime_." Eren corrected him.

"Whatever."

"Oh my god, this episode is the best!" Eren said as the intro theme began anew.

"Are you marathoning the same show again?"

"Just watch it with me for a bit, you might like it." Armin sighed, but plopped down onto the sofa anyway. After about ten minutes of Armin asking constant questions about what was happening, Eren got bored and switched it off.

"You may have just ruined Strike the Giants for me. I hope you're happy, nerd."

"That's rich coming from you!" Armin said, prodding Eren in the stomach.

"You are a nerd."

"No,  _you're_  the nerd."

Armin and Eren ended up playfighting on the floor. Armin, by some kind of fluke, managed to get Eren into a headlock.

"Who's the nerd?" Armin asked his best friend.

"I'm the nerd, okay? Now get off me!" Eren grumbled, and Armin let Eren go. "Where did you learn to fight back all of a sudden? I usually beat your ass into the ground."

"From your boyfriend." Armin grinned.

Eren sighed. "Of course you did." He sat up, looking at himself. "Damn it, now I'm gonna have to change, my shirt's all scrunched. I hate you, dude."

"Nah, you love me." Armin sniggered.

"Only on days with the letter 'Y' in them." Eren grinned, and Armin laughed, remembering the old joke from their school days. Shortly after this, Levi came breezing into the lounge, and Armin and Eren both started laughing.

"What?" Levi asked, stony-faced.

"Um, what's that on your trousers, Levi?" Armin sniggered.

Levi looked down to see smudges of white. "Shit! I knew sitting down while cleaning my teeth was a bad idea. Back in a sec. Put your shoes on, Eren, we gotta go as soon as I'm ready." He zipped off down the corridor, and Eren got up and slipped his shoes on.

"See you later, Armin." Eren said as Levi came rushing back down the hallway in clean trousers, shoving on his own shoes and grabbing both his and Eren's coats and bundling his boyfriend out of the door.

"Levi, relax!" Armin called after them as the door slammed shut. He made his way out of the lounge, only to see Christa and Mikasa emerging from the kitchen.

"Was that Eren and Levi?" Mikasa asked him.

"Yeah. Levi's freaking out because he's proposing to Eren tonight."

"He is?! Oh my god!" Christa squealed. "That's so cute!"

"Mama! Come back! Play cars!" came Hanabi's demanding voice, and all three of them laughed.

"Coming sweetheart. Care to join us, Armin?"

"Sure."

* * *

After a rather short-lived game of toy cars, Hanabi's attention span had fizzled and she had started raiding the kitchen drawers she could reach, resulting in her grabbing a colander and putting it on her head. Armin, Christa and Mikasa's response had been to grab pots and pans to put on their own heads to match her, and she had squealed with delight. The merriment was interrupted by Armin's phone buzzing in his pocket. He checked the caller ID.

"It's Levi…" he said, confused, and accepted the call. "Levi, what is it?"

" _Armin, thank god! I fucked up really bad, you have to help me!"_

"Whoa, don't talk so fast. What's wrong?"

" _I left the fucking ring in my other goddamn trousers and we're already at the restaurant, you gotta get it to me, I'm begging you."_

Armin looked horrified. "Shit! I'll do what I can!"

" _God bless you Armin, you're a fucking hero. Text me when you're here, okay?"_

"Sure." He hung up, and looked at Mikasa and Christa. "Levi forgot the ring."

"WHAT?!" both girls shouted.

"I know, I know! He left it in the pocket of his other trousers. We have to get it there right now. All Levi wants is to make Eren happy, and now he's flipping out."

"I'll help you. Christa, will you watch Hanabi for me?"

"Of course! Go, go!" Christa urged them. Armin and Mikasa dashed into Levi and Eren's room.

"I don't see the trousers. You think they're already in the laundry bin?" Mikasa asked. Armin crossed the room hurriedly and upended the basket, tipping a flurry of fabric onto the floor.

"We're looking for a pair with toothpaste stains on them." Armin told Mikasa, and the two of them started flinging clothes around the room frantically.

Finally Mikasa found the right pair, and as she picked them up, the ring box fell onto the floor with a thump. Armin flinched a little as his mind flashed back to yesterday, but shoved the thoughts out of his mind as he grabbed the box. Mikasa stood up and then a look of realisation crossed her features.

"Shit!" she cursed. "Neither of us can drive."

"Ah, crap! Neither can Christa." Armin groaned, then he had a flash of inspiration. "Wait! I know someone who might!"

He ran out into the hall, shoved on his shoes and grabbed his coat and house keys, and Mikasa followed suit. "Bye Christa!" he shouted as they ran out of the door. Armin dashed up the stairs to the upper floor of the building, taking them two at a time. He frantically knocked on Annie's door, and the door swung open to reveal Annie in her pyjamas. She did a double take at the two people standing at her door.

"Armin? What's going on? Who's this?"

"This is Eren's sister, Mikasa. Look, do you know how to drive? Levi's meant to be proposing to Eren tonight, and the idiot forgot the ring, we really need to get it there." Armin held up the box. Annie's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry, I never learned." Armin's face fell. "But I do know someone who can drive, and owns a car." She pulled out her phone and punched up Bertholdt's number.

" _Annie? Is everything okay?"_

"Bertl, we need a favour. Armin's dumbass flatmate is meant to be proposing to his boyfriend and has forgotten the ring, can you get over here and drive them to the restaurant?"

" _Oh gosh, of course! I'll be five minutes!"_

Bertholdt hung up, and Annie grinned at them. "Bertl's on his way." she told Armin.

"Fantastic!" Armin grinned back. "Sorry to bother you."

"No worries. I've had a pretty boring day, it's nice to have it livened up a bit."

"In that case, wanna come along for the ride?" Armin asked. "They're at Piazza di Amor, and you know how exclusive that place is about who goes in. We might need to sneak in around the back, and some extra manpower would be great."

Annie rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but why the fuck not? Let me change into something more appropriate for a public setting though." She closed the door, and Armin and Mikasa waited somewhat impatiently. Annie re-emerged just as Armin received a text from Bertholdt saying he was outside.

"Let's roll." Mikasa said, dashing back down the stairs with Armin and Annie on her tail.

* * *

"Evening all!" Bertholdt called cheerily from the driver's seat of his ancient red Nissan Micra as his passengers piled in, Armin taking the front seat.

"Mikasa, Bertl. Bertl, this is Mikasa."

"Lovely to meet you, we'll get more acquainted later!" Bertl said with a smile, and Mikasa gave a nod of agreement. "Where are these boys at then?"

"Piazza di Amor." Armin answered. "Do you need directions?"

"Nope, I love that place. Haven't been in years, but their seafood linguini is to die for." Bertholdt said as he pulled out into the flowing traffic. "I think it would be best to take the high street, it's normally pretty clear at this t-"

Bertholdt's sentence went unfinished as he turned onto the high street and was met with a huge tailback.

"Oh shit a brick, now what?" Armin cursed.

"Don't sweat it. I know a shortcut, just up this side road..." Bertholdt turned his car down the tiny road.

"Bertl, this doesn't look like a road to me." Annie said sceptically.

"Okay, so  _maybe_ the word 'road' is a bit generous." Bertholdt said as he swerved to avoid a wheelie bin.

"A  _bit_  generous?" Armin said in horror as Bertholdt forced the car down the tiny space between two buildings.

"Okay, maybe a  _lot_ generous!" Bertholdt finally admitted. "Do you want to reach your friends in time or not?"

Armin shut up then, but promptly squeaked in fright as Bertholdt swerved again.

"Is it just me or is this so called 'side road' getting thinner the further we go?" Mikasa said, the sarcasm evident in her voice.

Annie looked sideways at Mikasa. "You know what, I think you and I are going to get along."

"You know, don't get me wrong, I'm glad you two are bonding, but now really isn't the time!" Armin was practically tearing his hair out. Bertholdt's car finally shot out the other end of the alleyway, and all three passengers breathed a collective sigh of relief, seeing that Piazza di Amor was right in front of them.

"Bertl, please don't do that again with me in the car! I nearly had a one-way ticket to brown-trouser town!" Armin looked pale, and Annie squeezed his shoulder comfortingly, something that did not go unnoticed by the eagle-eyed Mikasa. She remembered her conversation with him from earlier in the day about Sasha and knew why he was nervous, but Annie's display of affection was completely unexpected.

Mikasa snapped out of her thoughts as Bertholdt brought the car to a halt just up the road from the restaurant.

"Alright, what's the plan?" Bertholdt asked.

"There's a window around the back that we could climb through, but someone's going to have to keep the doorman occupied while we get to it." Armin said, using the 3G signal to look at a floor plan of the restaurant on his phone.

"Bertl, you can talk for England, perhaps you'd best deal with the doorman." Annie suggested.

"Can do! Who's joining me?"

"I will. Armin, you and Annie get through that window, get the ring to Levi, then come to the front door from the inside and let us in so we can watch." Mikasa said. Armin and Annie nodded.

"Let's do this."

The four unlikely allies got out of the car, and the pairs parted ways. Armin and Annie dashed around to the back window.

"Well at least it's open, but it's a lot higher up than I thought." Armin grumbled. "How about I give you a boost and then you pull me up?"

Annie nodded, rolling up the sleeves on her hoodie. Armin carefully hoisted her high enough so she could grab the window ledge, and she pulled herself through smoothly before reaching back over to drag Armin up.

"Ow, ow, oww!" Armin protested as his knees scraped the wall.

"Sorry!" Annie called down to him. "Grab the ledge!"

Armin did so, and Annie edged out of the way as Armin wriggled through the window, managing to snag his shirt on the edge as he landed on the floor with a thud. He grabbed his phone and sent a quick text to Levi telling him their location, and within minutes Levi found them.

"You're a goddamn star, Armin. I owe you big time." Levi said, hugging him as he took the ring box from the blonde.

"Don't sweat it. Go get 'im, tiger." Armin grinned.

"I'll go grab Bertl and Mikasa." Annie said, dashing off the same way Levi had gone.

* * *

"What do you  _mean_ , we can't come in dressed like this?" Bertholdt asked the doorman, offended. "Don't you know who we  _are_?"

"Who you are doesn't mean jack, buddy. This place has a dress code, and you two don't meet that code."

"I've a good mind to call my lawyer!" Bertholdt shook a finger in the man's face. Mikasa tapped Bertholdt's arm and pointed at the door. Sure enough, there was Annie, running over and pushing the door open.

"Get your asses in here." she said. The doorman looked utterly baffled for a few moments, then ran after them.

* * *

Meanwhile, Levi had returned to his table in the restaurant, where Eren was waiting.

"Everything okay?"

"It is now." Levi said with a smile at his boyfriend. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Annie run past.

"Was that…" Eren looked around at the girl. "I'm sure that's Annie…"

"Well…" Levi began, but at that moment Armin walked in, and from the opposite direction came Mikasa, Annie and Bertholdt.

"Levi? What's going on here?"

"It's a long story. All you need to know is this." Levi stood up, and slid down onto one knee. The whole restaurant stopped to watch. The doorman came bustling in, opening his mouth to yell at Mikasa and Bertholdt, but an elderly couple shushed him. Eren himself was frozen, his eyes wide. "Eren. We've been together five years, and to be honest, I couldn't have asked for anyone better to spend that time with. I'm sorry I haven't got a big rambling speech prepared or anything, you know that spouting romantic shit is not my thing, but…" Levi pulled out the ring box and opened it. "Eren Jaeger, will you marry me?"

Eren's turquoise eyes were filling up with tears of joy as he opened his mouth. "Yes! Yes, I will!" He threw himself off his chair into Levi's arms, and the whole restaurant applauded. Armin and Bertholdt cheered and whooped, embracing each other. Mikasa watched her adoptive brother as Levi slipped the ring onto his finger, and Annie watched Armin.

She knew it was foolish to dream about something like marriage so soon after her tally had appeared, especially while it was still red, but try as she might, she couldn't help but picture Armin getting on one knee with a ring box in his hand.

"I knew there was something up." Mikasa said to Annie as the restaurant's usual noise levels resumed, and Armin and Bertholdt went over to talk to the happy couple. "That red mark on your wrist is for Armin, isn't it?"

Annie groaned. "Look, I know. I won't rush things. I've been there, done that. And you don't need to tell me he needs time to grieve, 'cause I know that too."

Mikasa nodded. "Good. And just know that if he does fall for you too someday, and you hurt him in any damn way, you'll regret it. Armin is like family to me."

Annie rolled her eyes. "Like I've never heard that one before. Don't worry, I have no intention of hurting him. I couldn't do that."

"Good. I'm glad we understand each other. Now let's get over there and congratulate my brother and his fiancé."

 


	12. Chapter 12

November gave way to December, and soon the Christmas spirit began to fill everyone's hearts. The only exception was Levi, who had lost all enjoyment for the holiday due to his birthday coinciding with Christmas Day. However, he seemed not to mind, as he had his hands full with planning the wedding. Armin was on hand to help, as Eren had been helping Mikasa find a place for her and Hanabi to live. By a stroke of luck an apartment on the same floor as Annie's had come onto the market shortly after the day of Levi's proposal to Eren, and after a few weeks of paperwork Mikasa had finally been given the keys. On the day Mikasa was moving in, Armin and Eren were helping, and just as they were finishing up, Annie popped over to offer them tea at her place.

"How's your back doing?" Armin asked her. Due to their window-climbing escapades at the restaurant, Annie had managed to injure her back further, and had to start a second course of painkillers once the first set had run out.

"Pretty good. I've still gotta be careful lifting stuff, but work have got me scheduled on the till for a while so I don't have to lug any stock around out back." Annie said with a smile, setting the tea mugs down on the kitchen counter for her guests. "So, is Christa babysitting again?"

"Sure is. That girl is a natural parent, and Hanabi's not even her kid." Eren said with a touch of admiration in his voice. "I hope if me and Levi ever adopt a kid or whatever I can do as well as she does."

"Levi and I, Eren." Mikasa said, correcting her adoptive brother's grammar before taking a sip of tea. "So am I not your parenting role model?"

"No offence, Mika, you're a great mum to Hanabi, but you're kind of scary."

Mikasa smacked Eren's shoulder, and Armin laughed.

Annie cracked a grin. "You two are ridiculous."

"You can say that again." Armin agreed. "Are you and Bertl coming over for pizza and movies tomorrow? I thought we could finally start on the Christmas movies."

"Sure. Bertl's been an unstoppable force of Yuletide joy since Halloween ended, he'll be in heaven." Annie laughed.

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. "Ho-ho-ho, nerds! Christa said you were up here!"

"It's open, Bertl." Annie sighed, and Bertholdt came in, carrying a gleefully giggling Hanabi on his shoulders. "All right, honeybunch, Bertl the red-nosed reindeer is gonna have to put you down now." He said to the toddler, lifting her from his shoulders and down onto the floor. She ran straight to Mikasa, who scooped her daughter into her arms.

"How're you, Bertl?" Armin asked.

"Good thanks! Got a buddy of mine staying from out of town for a few days. He just broke up with his high school sweetheart, 'cause he found out that the dude got a tally for someone else."

"Ouch." Armin looked sympathetic. "So he's staying with you, or  _staying with you_?" he asked with a smirk.

"Oh lordy no, the poor fellow needs to get over his ex. He swings both ways, so he might find a nice girl or a nice guy, but he's not for me." Bertholdt said with a shrug. "I don't do rebounds, my own or other people's."

"Mama?" Hanabi piped up. "New flat?" She had finally gotten the hang of saying her N's and Mikasa couldn't be prouder.

"Yes, sweetie, it's ready. Want to see?"

"Yeah!"

Mikasa put Hanabi down and they walked to the door hand in hand, Hanabi chattering nonstop about nonsensical things. The boys and Annie exchanged looks and silently agreed to let them go alone.

"Tea, Bertl?"

"Not for me sweetie, I gotta dash. I told my friend I was only out for groceries, if I take too long he might worry." Bertholdt headed for the door. "See you tomorrow night, lovelies!"

"Bye!" they called back.

"I guess we'd better go too. Levi has been waiting for ages for me to help Mikasa move out so I can be more active in the wedding plans." Eren said. "Armin, you coming?"

"Go ahead, I'll catch up." Armin said, and Eren looked confused, but nodded anyway, leaving Annie's flat.

"What is it, Armin?" Annie asked.

"What are you doing on Christmas Day?"

Annie looked at the floor. "Not much. I'll probably just stay in and play video games. My dad's got a new girlfriend and they're going to the Maldives together, so I can't go visit him."

"Spend it with us."

"What?"

Armin smiled. "I mean it, Annie. Spend Christmas Day with me, Levi, Eren, Mikasa and Christa. You're their friend too now, and we'd love to have you spend the day with us."

Annie was touched by Armin's kindness, and she smiled softly. "T-thank you, Armin. I will spend Christmas with you guys."

"Awesome!" Armin grinned. "We normally organise Secret Santa instead of everyone buying shit for everyone else, so I'll let you know when that's ready!" He got up and headed for the door, waving at Annie as he left. "See you tomorrow for movie night!"

Annie watched him go, her smile widening. "Armin…"

The guy was pulling her heartstrings like a goddamn puppeteer, and he didn't even realise.

* * *

As Armin made his way into the flat, he found Levi and Eren in the kitchen poring over the scrapbook he had been helping Levi put together the past few weeks. Eren looked happy, and he looked up as Armin walked in.

"Armin, this stuff is awesome! I knew there was a reason that you're my best friend."

Armin laughed. "Well Levi did a lot of it, it's probably been a sixty-forty split."

"Still, thank you so much! We'd love for you to keep helping out, if you're willing that is!"

"Why wouldn't I be willing to help my best friend plan his wedding to the love of his life?" Armin said with a grin. "I'm honoured that you want me to help!"

"That's my best man, always being helpful." Eren said, before realising what he'd said. "Oops… I was meant to ask you properly… You'll totally be my best man though, right?"

Armin's grin widened so much it threatened to stretch his whole face out. "Of course!"

Eren hugged Armin, and Levi cracked a smile as the best friends embraced.

"Alright, nerds, let's get back to planning." Levi said, and they gathered around the kitchen counter.

* * *

The next evening, at movie night, Christa was setting up the DVD player when there was a knock at the door.

"That's Annie and Bertl with the pizza!" Armin said, hopping up to answer the door. Sure enough there they were, both carrying pizza boxes, and behind them was a familiar looking guy with brown hair styled into an undercut. Armin was sure he'd seen the guy before, but couldn't remember where.

"Evening! I hope you don't mind, but I brought my friend along. Jean, this is Armin Arlert, Armin, this is Jean Kirschstein." Bertholdt said with a smile.

Armin's eyes widened in shock. Of course the guy was familiar. He knew who Jean Kirschstein was. This was the guy from Mikasa's high school, the one she had fallen for all those years ago.

"Armin, come on! Everyone's getting hungr–" Mikasa walked out into the corridor with Hanabi in her arms, and stopped dead in her tracks. "J-Jean? Jean Kirschstein?"

"Do I know y– wait… Mikasa… Ackerman?" Jean asked. The two locked eyes, and Armin looked at Mikasa, then at Jean, then back to Mikasa as she lifted her wrist to show Jean.

Her tally was black. "What took you so long?" she said, her eyes filling with tears as she spoke.

A smile spread across Jean's face. "I'm sorry. I'm here now." He raised his own wrist, showing one old, red tally, and his new black one.

Armin beckoned Bertholdt and Annie through to the lounge, leaving Jean and Mikasa in peace. They had a lot of catching up to do...

* * *

A short way into the movie, Mikasa re-entered the lounge with Jean in tow. Hanabi was clinging onto his arm jabbering nonstop about nothing in particular.

"Hey guys." Armin said with a smile, offering them some pizza, which they both accepted.

"Bertl." Mikasa said, and Bertholdt looked up at her questioningly. "Jean will be out of your place in the next few days. He's going to move in with me."

Bertholdt shrugged. Eren, on the other hand, was shocked.

"Mikasa! You've just met him again after nearly ten years! You can't just move in together like that!"

"Eren, my tally…"

"I don't give a damn about your tally! You can't just move this guy into your apartment and wait for him to fall in love with you."

"Eren…" Armin said warningly.

"Armin, stay out of this!" Eren snapped, before turning back to Mikasa. "I can't believe you'd be so irresponsible! You're a mother now!"

"Ahem…" Jean cleared his throat. "Sorry to rain on your parade of brotherly concern, but she doesn't need to wait for me to fall for her." Jean raised his wrist, as did Mikasa.

Eren's jaw dropped at the sight of the matching black tallies. Mikasa shot her brother a venomous look, silently daring him to keep arguing with them.

"Fine." Eren grumbled. "Hope you're prepared to be a ready-made papa, Kirschstein. And don't you dare fuck around with my sister. She's damn special to pretty much all the people in this room right now, and we will end you if you screw this up."

"Jeez, are you always this confrontational? Relax, dude. I'm really not as much of a dick as you seem to think I am." Jean chuckled. Eren moved in his seat, as if to get up, but Levi put a hand on his fiancé's shoulder.

"Eren, let it go."

Christa giggled. "Let it go. That's funny, 'cause we're watching Frozen."

"Why  _are_ we watching Frozen anyway?" Annie asked. "It's not even really a Christmas movie, just a winter movie."

"It was Armin's turn to pick this week." Levi said, and Annie side-eyed Armin accusingly.

"What? I love me a good Disney movie." Armin shrugged.

"Frozen is a mediocre Disney movie at best." Annie said with a sigh, reaching for another slice of pizza.

Armin gasped dramatically. "Get out of this apartment at once!" he exclaimed, and the others laughed as Annie elbowed him in the side.

"Let's just shut up and watch it." Annie grumbled, turning her attention back to the screen.

"Ooh, ooh, speaking of Let It Go, here it comes!" Christa said excitedly, and Armin grinned, much to Annie's exasperation. Jean and Mikasa squeezed onto the sofa, crushing her closer to the blonde boy's side as he began singing along, as did Christa and Bertl.

She couldn't believe she was friends with these dorks…

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: TRIGGER WARNING FOR DEPRESSION, SELF-HARM AND BLOOD, plus a very brief mention of alcoholism.

"Armin, you need to watch out."

Eren and Armin were clearing up the pizza boxes after everyone else had either gone home or to bed, and Armin frowned in confusion at his best friend.

"What do you mean?"

"Levi and Christa explained to me that yesterday you were inviting Annie to spend Christmas with us. I don't have a problem with you inviting her, but the fact that you waited for me to leave probably made it mean more to her than you intended." Eren said with a meaningful look at Armin. "The girl's already fallen for you hard, and I know you're not ready to love again yet. You have to be careful not to lead Annie on."

Armin looked horrified. "Oh goodness… I never thought of that…" He sat down abruptly on the sofa. "I don't want to do that to her, she's my friend…"

"I know, dude. Just… learn from your mistake, okay?" Eren said.

"Yeah…" Armin got to his feet again, gathering up the last of the boxes. "When did you get so smart about this relationship stuff?"

"Since I got engaged to the man of my dreams." Eren gave a dreamy sigh.

"So what you mean is that Levi told you to tell me this." Armin grinned.

Eren hit him on the head with a pizza box. "No! Well… maybe…"

"What a surprise." Armin laughed. "Look, thank him for the advice. I really don't want to hurt Annie. She's a good friend."

Eren nodded. "Will do. Now stop standing there like a lemon and help me with this crap."

The two friends carried the stacks of cardboard into the kitchen and dumped them into the recycling bin.

"Well, I'm gonna hit the hay. Sleep well." Eren said with a yawn.

"I think I'll take a shower. See you in the morning." They exited the kitchen and parted ways halfway down the hall. Armin tried the bathroom door, only to find it locked.

_Strange,_  he thought.  _Levi was waiting for Eren in their room, and everyone else went home, so…_

He knocked. "Christa? Are you okay in there?"

"I'm fine, Armin!" came Christa's reply. Her voice sounded higher in pitch than usual, and almost… frightened.

"Are you sure? You're not ill, are you?" Armin called.

"N-no! I think I just had too much pizza, I feel really full!"

Armin wasn't sure why, but something told him he needed to get in there and see what was happening.

"Christa, I'm worried about you. Let me in."

"No! I-I mean, no, Armin, everything's fine!" Christa's voice got higher and more panicked.

"Christa, I'm going to break the lock if you don't open the door!" Armin shouted.

"Please, just leave me be!" Christa begged, her voice breaking in a sob, and Armin roughly shouldered the bathroom door. It shook on its hinges, but didn't open.

Eren and Levi peered around their bedroom door blearily. "Whusgoinon?" Eren asked.

"Guys, help me! Something's wrong with Christa!" Armin shoved his body against the door again, still to no avail. Levi wasted no time in rushing the door, connecting with it heavily as the door finally opened, swinging on its hinges limply.

"Oh, God." Levi said in quiet shock. "Eren, go back to bed. Now." Eren obeyed, and Armin rushed into the bathroom.

What he saw made his stomach churn and his heart shatter.

Christa was curled up in the bathtub, dressed only in a white bra and black shorts. She was covered in blood, which was pouring from cuts on her arms and legs, leaving smudges of crimson on her clothes, on her skin, in her hair, and dripping into the white bathtub. The shower was running, the water diluting the blood as it fell into the tub. The contrast of red on white was jarring to the eyes, and Armin fought the urge to be sick at the sight. He understood why Levi had sent Eren back to bed, he fainted when he noticed so much as a papercut.

"Get out! Leave me alone!" Christa screamed at them. "Just let me die…" She started to cry, her whole body spasming with sobs.

"Clean her and her cuts, bandage her, and get her into clean clothes. I'll clean the bathroom when you're done." Levi said, striding out to get the cleaning products. Armin snapped into action, lifting Christa out of the bathtub gingerly and sitting her upright on the closed toilet. He flung open the medicine cabinet and grabbed a large packet of wound dressings, several bandages, and some antiseptic cream. He cleaned Christa's cuts the best he could, her body twitching every time he caused her pain. He whispered continuous apologies as he wrapped up her wounds, pinning the bandages tight to help stop the bleeding. He then ran a flannel under a warm tap and gently washed away the blood on the unbandaged skin. He lifted her face, only to find most of the blood already rinsed off by a steady stream of tears. He softly dabbed at her face, making sure all the blood was washed away.

"Oh, Christa…" Armin wrapped the girl up in a hug, and she sat there limply, sobbing brokenly into his shoulder. They sat there for a while, but eventually Armin pulled back and made Christa look at him.

"I'm going to wash your hair now, okay?" Christa nodded silently, her eyes still filled with tears. "Stay here." Armin told her, rushing to the kitchen to grab a chair. He dashed back, thankful that Christa hadn't moved. He set the chair up by the sink and grabbed the showerhead, stretching it out so it reached the sink. "Come on over here."

Christa got up sluggishly and moved over to the chair.

"Lay back, put your head on the edge of the sink." Armin instructed gently, and Christa did so. Armin turned the shower controls so the water was warm and slowly washed Christa's hair, watching as every last bit of blood swirled away down the plug. He picked up Christa's shampoo and worked it through her hair as softly as he could, then rinsed it out.

"Which one's your conditioner?" he asked her.

"The… Herbal Essences." she said in a hoarse whisper, the first words she had spoken since she had screamed at him and Levi after the door got knocked open. Armin picked up the conditioner, smoothing it into Christa's hair. He was more than glad for his haircare knowledge at a time like this – being a guy who kept his hair long had its benefits after all. He washed the product out thoroughly, switched off the shower, and grabbed a towel from the rail, wrapping Christa's hair up in a fluffy towel turban.

"Do you want me to help you to your room?" Armin asked her. Christa locked eyes with him.

"Please."

Armin picked up the tiny blonde girl in his arms, and started to leave the bathroom. He felt something hard underfoot as he took a step, and looked down to see a bloodied razor on the scarlet-smeared bath mat.  _Of course._

"Hey, Levi." Armin called softly, and Levi stuck his head out of his and Eren's bedroom. "Bathroom's all yours."

"Okay." Levi emerged from the room with a huge box of cleaning products and headed for the bathroom, closing the door. Armin carried Christa into her room and set her down on her desk chair.

"Here, put your pyjamas on." He picked them up from their place on her pillow and passed them to her. "I won't look." He turned around and waited patiently.

"Okay, I'm dressed." Armin turned around, and Christa was in her pyjamas, sitting back in the desk chair as if she had never moved. He picked up the bloodied garments from the floor and threw them out of the room, and walked over to kneel in front of her.

"I'm so sorry, Christa. If I'd only known this was happening, I would have tried to help you sooner. Please promise that you'll let me help now though. I know how you're feeling. I want to make sure you're okay. You're my friend, and I care about you."

Christa looked at Armin. "You d-don't get it. I made a promise." She sniffed, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Back at the v-very start of high school, Sasha got bullied so much, sh-she was thinking of ending it all. I p-promised her that if she died, I would die with her. It scared her i-into staying alive, because she didn't w-want me to die because of her. Now…" Here a fresh wave of tears began to fall from Christa's eyes. "I have to keep my p-promise…"

"Christa." Armin put a hand on her knee. "Sasha didn't kill herself. She was a victim of a horrible accident." He fought back his own tears as he spoke. "You don't owe anything to anyone. And what happened to her wasn't your fault, nor was it mine."

"A-Armin… It's difficult… Surely y-you understand…"

He nodded. "I do understand. It's easy to blame yourself when something like that happens. But we are not to blame for what happened to Sasha. You have no guilt to purge yourself of, and no promise to keep."

Christa nodded slowly.

"Have you been doing this since we heard about her death?" She nodded again.  _That's why we never see her cry,_ Armin thought. _She's been keeping her grief to herself and letting it out like this._ "I want you to tell me truthfully, do you have any more razors in this room, or anything else you could hurt yourself with?" Christa pointed at a box under her bed. Armin crossed the room and picked it up. "This is all of it?"

"Yes."

"And I want a promise from you this time. The next time you feel like hurting yourself, call or text me or Levi, or come find us if we're in the apartment."

Christa nodded again, and Armin began to leave. "Armin!" she called out.

"Yes?" He turned to look at her.

"Th-thank you… For everything…"

"It's the least I can do." Armin left Christa's room and went straight to his own, locking his door. Too fatigued to go outside, he slipped a spare sock over the smoke alarm and opened his window wide, before lighting up a cigarette and taking a long drag. He was going to need quite a few tonight…

Suddenly his phone buzzed, making him jump in surprise. He checked it sleepily.

**From: Annie Leonhart, 11:02pm**

_Your window is right underneath mine. I know you're smoking. X_

Armin sighed, and hastily typed a reply.

**To: Annie Leonhart, 11:03pm**

_Shit happened. Can I come up? X_

**From: Annie Leonhart, 11:04pm**

_Sure. X_

Armin stubbed out his cigarette on the window ledge, closed the window and grabbed his keys, lighter and cigarettes, heading out to the hall and stuffing his feet into his shoes. He made his way upstairs and knocked on Annie's door. She answered it and let him in.

"You look like hell."

"Thanks a bunch." Armin gave a weak smile.

"So what happened?" Annie asked him as he collapsed onto the tiny sofa.

"Christa's been cutting since Sasha died. We found her tonight."

"Oh my god." Annie was stunned. "When you say you found her, do you mean…"

"I mean we literally found her. Locked in the bathroom with blood dripping out of her arms and legs and a razor on the floor. I had to sort her out and make sure she was okay while Levi cleaned the bathroom. We couldn't let Eren near it 'cause he gets dizzy at the sight of blood."

"Damn…" Annie sat down next to Armin. "So she is okay now?"

"Yeah. I got her bandaged and cleaned up, made her promise to talk to me or Levi in future instead of cutting, and took away her razors."

"I… Wow. I really wouldn't have guessed." Annie said pensively. "I mean, normally I can see something like that in a person's face or body language."

"Really? How come?" Armin asked her.

"My dad."

"Of course." Armin recalled the day Annie had told him about her father's depression. It had been caused by the loss of Annie's mother, back when Annie was only seven years old. It had driven her father to alcoholism and self-harm, so much so that for a long time Annie had stayed with her grandmother. Around the time Armin met Annie, her father had just left rehab and she had finally moved back in with him. He had never hurt her, but he was nothing but apologetic when she returned to him, and they had been close ever since.

"If she needs someone to talk to, tell her she's free to come to me."

Armin smiled. "I will. Can we play video games? I need to take my mind off it."

"Sure. Which would you prefer: working together or getting your ass kicked?"

" _Please_. We all know  _I_ kick the ass in this friendship."

"Mortal Kombat it is then." Annie smirked.

Armin watched Annie as she waited for the game to load. He couldn't help but feel like he was going against everything Eren had advised him only a short while ago, but something seemed to draw him to Annie like a moth to a flame, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was.

 


	14. Chapter 14

About a week later, the friends gathered for another movie and pizza night. Jean had just that afternoon finished moving his belongings into Mikasa's flat, and even after only a week, he was already held in high regard by Hanabi, who already called him "daddy" and would gleefully jabber to him in toddler-speak for hours on end. Much to Eren's disdain, Jean was more than content to listen, and was already fitting his role as a father figure incredibly well. Mikasa had decided to ignore Eren's pettiness and was over the moon being with Jean after so many years believing she would never find someone to love.

Christa had been improving since the events of the last movie night. With Armin's help, she had registered with a local self-harm support group, and had been to her first meeting the previous night. She had come home looking the happiest Armin had seen her since Sasha's passing and he was relieved to see a bit of a spring returning to her step.

Armin, on the other hand, had had another bad nightmare about Sasha a few days after the Bathroom Incident, and had resolved again to try and keep his distance from Annie. He wanted to be friends with her, he truly did, but he was suddenly hyper-conscious of every little action, desperately trying not to lead her on as per Eren and Levi's advice. He threw himself into fulfilling his duties as Eren's best man, helping the couple plan more things to do with the wedding. He had sent out the Save the Date cards, telling everyone the wedding would be on March 1st. He was responsible for seating plans at the reception, and he had a list of people who absolutely could not be on the same table as each other. He had finished it, only to realise he had seated Levi's Uncle Kenny right next to his Great Aunt Margot, a combination which had been on the forbidden list.

Armin shook the thoughts of the wedding out of his mind. That would wait for another day. It was time to relax and enjoy the company of his friends. Christa had been the one to choose the film today, and was stood at the DVD shelf contemplating her options as everyone arrived. Jean and Mikasa had fetched the pizza today, and they lay the boxes out on the coffee table as Christa finally made her choice.

"Oh my god, I haven't watched Elf since I was a kid!" Eren said excitedly as Christa held the box up for everyone to see.

"It was my favourite Christmas film when I was younger, and I thought Hanabi might enjoy it." Christa said, with a kind smile at the toddler in Mikasa's lap.

There was one final knock at the door, and Armin went to open it. Bertholdt and Annie arrived, greeting Armin warmly as they made their way to the lounge and settled in.

"Wait!" Christa called out, silencing the small talk around her. "Before we start the movie, I hope you're all ready for… Secret Santa!" She held a hat aloft, filled with pieces of paper. "I've put all our names in a hat, just grab one, and if you pick your own name by accident, just exchange it."

"Damn, I was hoping to buy myself a present this year." Levi said with one of his trademark eyerolls, and everyone laughed good-naturedly. Christa took a name first, then passed the hat around the group. Armin was last, and he took up the final piece of paper and unfolded it.

_Annie Leonhart_

"Damn it." Armin whispered under his breath.  _That's going to be a task and a half._

"Okay! The rules are, you can't spend more than £20 on the gift, but don't spend too much less or it's really stingy, and it has to be under the tree by Christmas Eve!" Christa explained. "Now, let's start the movie!"

Armin looked around at his friends as they looked at their scraps of paper. Expressions ranged from calm (Levi), to pleased (Jean), to downright horrified (Eren).

Armin put his scrap of paper away in his pocket and leaned over to Bertholdt, who was sitting next to him.

He pointed at Eren. "Ten quid says Eren picked Jean."

"You're on."

* * *

The next day was a Friday, and Armin's day off, so he went into the town centre, hoping to buy Annie's Secret Santa gift. However, as soon as he got anywhere near the shops, he realised how hopelessly out of his depth he was. For all the bonding they had done as friends, he couldn't think of a single thing to buy for Annie. As he was thinking, his phone started to ring. He fished it out, and saw that Bertholdt was calling.

"Hello?"

" _Armin, buddy! Listen, I drew Eren for Secret Santa and I'm kind of freaking out, I really don't know the dude well enough for this."_

Armin laughed. "It's funny you should say that, cause I've just been thinking the same about my Secret Santa. I picked Annie."

" _In that case, we could help each other! Where are you?"_

"I'm in town, just across the road from the McDonald's."

" _I'm messing with ya, I know where you are. I'm in McDonald's right now."_

Armin looked up, and sure enough, Bertholdt was waving at him from the window of McDonald's. He grinned and ended the call, making his way into the fast food restaurant.

"Hey man. Have you eaten yet?" Armin greeted the taller man, embracing him.

"Nope. If I give you my cash will you get me a Big Mac and a strawberry shake?" Bertholdt rummaged in his wallet and offered Armin a couple of five pound notes. "I'll hold this table for us."

"Sure, I could do with something to eat before we shop." Armin smiled, taking the notes and joining the mercifully short queue. After a little while he returned to the table with a tray of food, and he and Bertholdt tucked in.

"So have you had any ideas about your gift?" Bertholdt asked Armin, his mouth full of beefburger. Armin pulled a face as food sprayed everywhere.

"Not really."

"Same."

"Well, Eren's favourite shop is just around the corner from here, when we're done eating I'll take you there and help you pick something out." Armin said, picking up a chicken nugget and dipping it in barbecue sauce.

"Oh, sweet, thanks." Bertholdt took a sip of his milkshake. Armin popped the nugget into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

"Look, am I doing anything wrong?" Armin blurted suddenly. Bertholdt looked up at him in confusion. "I-I mean… I really want to keep Annie as my friend but… I'm forever worried that I'm going to cross the line and make her believe I'm falling in love with her…"

Bertholdt sighed. "Is that why you've been so nervous around her lately? You need to lighten up. She knows you're still mourning. She's not dumb enough to believe that you're over Sasha just like that."

Armin looked relieved. "Sorry, I know it's silly to worry… I guess I'm just trying not to hurt her."

"Well stop freaking out so much. Annie can take care of herself. She's a big girl now."

"Says the six-foot-four giant." Armin teased.

"Okay, maybe I phrased that badly!" Bertholdt grinned and finished the last of his burger. "Ready to go?"

Armin swallowed the final bite of his food. "Sure."

They got up and left the McDonald's, making small talk as Armin showed Bertholdt to Eren's favourite shop.

"Brandywine Books and Memorabilia… Isn't Brandywine a thing from Lord of the Rings?"

"Dunno." Armin said with a shrug. "Eren's into those Japanese anime things, and this is the only place in town that sells that kind of stuff."

"Oh right! Let's go inside then."

Armin opened the door and the bell jingled merrily.

"Hey, Armin! Long time no see! How's Eren?" the shop owner said with a smile.

"He's pretty good thanks Tom. We're actually here to get something for him. My buddy Bertholdt here drew his name in Secret Santa."

"I see! Well in that case, you might wanna take a look at these." Tom disappeared into the stockroom and reappeared with a set of boxes. "Just got these in yesterday. Brand new Strike the Giants merchandise. We got belt buckles, wallets, keyrings, you name it."

Armin grinned. "Brilliant. Let me think… He was complaining about his wallet falling apart earlier in the week…"

Bertholdt smiled. "Guess it's a wallet then. Are there different designs?"

Tom nodded and shuffled the boxes around, showing them the three designs available. Armin and Bertholdt compared them.

"He has a jacket with this symbol on… Might be our best bet." Armin pointed at the one bearing a crest with a pair of wings. "How much for that one, Tom?"

Tom scanned the barcode. "That's £15.99."

"Perfect." Bertholdt dug out his own wallet as Armin wandered around, browsing the shelves subconsciously.

"Thanks. Oh hey, Armin, we've got more Game of Thrones merch coming in with our next delivery, you should stop by again."

"Thanks Tom. Say hi to Katy for me." Armin said with a smile, waving as he and Bertholdt left the shop.

"That was much easier than I expected. Thanks for the help, Armin." Bertholdt hugged Armin gratefully. "So, do you have any ideas about what you want to get for Annie?"

Armin wasn't listening, his gaze focused on a small shop with a display of furniture in the window.

"Hey, Bertl… Did Annie ever replace the chair she broke?"

* * *

About an hour later, Armin and Bertholdt were done sorting Annie's gift and the pair were about to head home when they passed the café Annie worked in, and decided to stop for a drink and to say hi to her.

"Hi guys! Didn't expect to see you here."

"We've been Secret Santa shopping." Bertholdt told her. Annie raised an eyebrow.

"I see. Well clearly it was thirsty work. What can I get you both?"

Bertholdt and Armin ordered their drinks and sat down. Annie's co-worker Mina recognised Armin and gave him a friendly wave across the café.

"She looks familiar. What's her name?"

"Mina something." Armin told Bertholdt as Annie carried their drinks over, apron removed and hanging from her arm.

"I told them I'm taking my break." She raised her voice to be heard over the Christmas music that was playing. "Say, since you mentioned Secret Santa… What the hell am I meant to get for Mikasa?"

Armin laughed. "Well… She may not seem like it, but Mikasa's big into pampering herself. Bath bombs and the like. She certainly deserves some me-time now she has Jean around to look after Hanabi too."

"That's great. Thanks, Armin." Annie smiled.

"No problem." Armin took a sip of his drink.

"Say, Annie, what's your friend's name? The girl with the black hair in pigtails." Bertholdt asked.

"Huh? Oh that's Mina Carolina." she told him, and Bertholdt's mouth dropped open. "Why?"

"She's the girl Jean's ex, Marco, left him for."

Armin was surprised. "I thought Jean and Marco weren't living around here before the breakup?"

"He apparently came back to visit quite regularly. He always told Jean he was visiting his brother, but I feel like that was probably a load of bull."

"Damn. Guess you guys had better keep Jean away from here." Annie said, and Armin and Bertholdt nodded in agreement.

"Well, I guess we should get going. Armin needs to get home to wait for the… uh… for a delivery." Bertholdt corrected himself swiftly after a glare from Armin. "See you later, sweetie!" He hugged Annie, and he and Armin trailed out of the café.

"You nearly blew it back there. Nice save though." Armin said. "Let's go."

 


	15. Chapter 15

Armin was awoken on the morning of December 25th by the weight of an excitable toddler landing on his chest, winding him.

"Unca Armin! Wakey wakey! Christmas time!" Hanabi shouted in his ear joyfully.

"Murgh... Just a minute kiddo..." he groaned, sitting up in bed.

"She refuses to look at what she got from Santa Claus without you all there, isn't that right sweetie?" Mikasa said, holding back laughter as she eyed Armin's spectacular bed-hair with amusement.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Mikasa. And why didn't Levi and Eren get this treatment first?" Armin grumbled.

"No need, they're already up. Eren's doing the washing-up after making Levi breakfast in bed. It is Levi's birthday after all."

"Right, of course. Can you remove your precious angel from my lap, please? I'm not exactly dressed to play host right now."

"Sure." Mikasa lifted the grinning toddler into her arms. "We'll be in the lounge." She left the room, and Armin rolled out of bed, digging in his wardrobe for the Christmas jumper Eren had given him for Secret Santa last year. It had the famous quote from Armin's favourite Christmas movie Home Alone (Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal) knitted into it, along with Christmas patterns like snowflakes and reindeer. He had laughed and promised to wear it every Christmas from then on. He found it and tugged it on, the static from the wool doing no favours for his hair. He swapped the boxers he had slept in for a clean pair, pulled a pair of jeans on, then proceeded to run a brush through his hair until he could tame it into his usual low ponytail. He then left his bedroom and wandered into the kitchen. Eren was standing at the sink, and he turned and smiled as Armin walked in.

"Merry Christmas, Armin."

"Merry Christmas, Eren. Need a hand?" Armin asked.

"Please." Eren gave an apologetic grin as Armin grabbed a tea towel and started drying the dishes Eren had already washed.

"So how did Levi like his birthday present?"

"I swear he almost cried, which of course set me off too." Eren pointed to his eyes, which Armin noticed were slightly red and puffy. "I think I really caught him off guard, he normally isn't that moved 'cause he always guesses what I'm getting for him, but not this time."

Ever since the proposal, Eren had been planning to get Levi a matching engagement ring for his birthday, and had been to every jeweller in the nearby area to try and find the same ring Levi had given him. He had managed it about two days ago, and was lucky enough to have snatched up the last one in Levi's ring size.

"I'm glad. Do I dare to ask what you bought for Jean's Secret Santa?" Armin asked with a smirk.

"Probably not. You'll see when he opens it." Eren chuckled to himself, finishing the last of the dishes and emptying the sink.

"Oh god." Armin sighed. "Anyway, I gotta sort something out with Bertl before we all open presents. Back in a bit." On his way past the lounge, Armin saw Mikasa and Annie trying to keep Hanabi under control. He exchanged a quick look with Mikasa and slipped out of the front door. He dashed up the stairs and sure enough, Bertholdt was standing by the elevator with a huge cardboard box.

"Merry Christmas, Bertl. Let's get to work." Armin smiled at the taller guy, and they hauled the box towards Annie's flat.

* * *

A short while later, everyone had congregated in the living room of Armin, Eren, Levi and Christa's flat. Hanabi was rolling around in a sea of wrapping paper from her own gifts and toys, and the adults were collecting their Secret Santa gifts. Armin braced himself for the worst as Jean held up the novelty rubber horse mask Eren had bought for him, but was relieved to hear him laugh it off, and even try the mask on. Hanabi noticed and shouted "horsey!" and refused to leave Jean alone until he had given her a piggyback around the whole flat. Meanwhile, Mikasa explored her bath bomb gift basket with a wide smile on her face, picking up different ones to test the scents, and across the room, Armin shot Annie a thumbs-up. Eren was overjoyed with his new wallet from Bertholdt, and ran to his room to transfer all his cards and cash over from the old one. Levi laughed for longer than anyone had expected at the sweater Christa had picked out for him (a simple black jumper bearing the words 'Parental Advisory: I Say "Fuck" A Lot'), and Armin had cracked a smile at the Game of Thrones t-shirt Levi had bought him (the slogan reading 'The Lannisters Send Their Regards' – which according to Levi's reasoning, he chose "because you're a devious blondie just like that crazy bitch Cersei"). Armin took it as a compliment, and promised to wear the shirt on Boxing Day. Bertholdt received a set of car stickers from Jean bearing various amusing phrases, his personal favourite being the one with the LGBT flag which bore the words 'Come Closer, I Like It In The Tailpipe", and Christa was delighted with the DVD boxset of Glee Mikasa had bought her ("You remembered how much I love it!" she had squealed, hugging Mikasa tightly). Annie turned her present over and over in her hands. It seemed to be the size of a small envelope, and her brow furrowed in confusion as she opened it. A piece of card was revealed, and on it was a handwritten message.

_Hi, Annie._

_Sorry this seems crappy, but I promise you'll understand in a minute. Just go upstairs to your flat._

_Your Secret Santa_

She hadn't been keeping track of who bought what, so she rose from her chair still with a frown on her face.

"Annie?" Eren asked.

"My gift says I have to go to my flat." she explained, shrugging.

"Let's all go then!" Eren got to his feet, and the others followed suit. The group traipsed up the stairs and Annie unlocked the door to her flat. Stood there by her desk was a brand new desk chair, with a huge gift bow stuck to one of the arms.

"Oh my God…" Annie went closer, and saw there was a tag hanging on the arm of the chair also.

_I.O.U. a new desk to go with this chair after my next pay day._

_Armin_

"Merry Christmas, Annie. I hope you don't mind that Bertl used his spare key to let me in here this morning. Took us like half an hour to put that thing together. Flat pack furniture is overrated." Armin smiled. Annie spun around and flung herself at Armin, hugging him tightly.

"I mean, obviously I was gonna replace it myself eventually..." she mumbled jokingly into his sleeve, and everyone laughed.

"Hey, I know money's tight for you right now, and you can't write your book without a proper workspace, right?"

"Armin, this… this is more than I expected… Thank you…"

"No need to thank me, I was just… Wait, are you crying?"

Mikasa cleared her throat pointedly, and the group dispersed, leaving Armin and Annie alone.

"Hey, please don't cry. You'll get me going." Armin said with a soft smile, wiping Annie's tears with the sleeve of his jumper as she disentangled herself from his embrace.

"Where did you find this? I thought there was a price limit for Secret Santa…" Annie gestured to the chair.

"From this tiny furniture shop in the middle of town. They were good value for money, and Bertl and I spend ages testing the chairs to make sure we got one that would last. Oh, and I mean what I said on the tag by the way. I've picked out a desk from the same shop, I just have to go in and pay for it. I know that's against the rules, but you deserve it, Annie. You're a writer, you shouldn't have to make do with any old desk…"

"Armin, Armin, stop talking." Annie laughed through her tears, hugging him again. "This was so thoughtful. Thank you so much."

"Seriously, think nothing of it." Armin smiled. "Come on. Let's get back to the others."

* * *

The smell of cooking hit Armin's nostrils the second he opened the door to the flat, and he heard joyful laughter and chatter from the lounge.

"I promised Levi I'd give him a hand with the cooking. Go ahead without me." Armin said to Annie, and she nodded. Armin popped his head around the door of the kitchen.

"Hey, Levi. Still want my help?"

Levi jumped at the sound of Armin's voice. "Ow! Shit, fuck!" he exclaimed, dropping several potatoes onto the kitchen floor.

Armin stifled a laugh. "Should I take that as a no?"

Levi's hand was at his mouth. "Don't sneak around like that! You made me cut my hand, idiot!"

"Sorry! I'll get you a plaster." Armin made a quick dash to the bathroom, grabbing the box of plasters and delivering them to the kitchen. Levi fumbled with the box and slapped a plaster over the wound on his hand.

"God damn it, now there's blood on some of the potatoes."

"I'm really sorry, Levi. Look, I'll clean it up."

"No, don't be a prat. I can't have you scrabbling around in my blood. I'll sort this out. Can you just keep an eye on the rest of the vegetables while I do?" Armin nodded, and stood by the stove as Levi sorted the potatoes out, but a ringing of the doorbell interrupted them. "Who in the world could that be on Christmas Day?" Levi grumbled. "I'll be fine from here, you go answer it."

Armin nodded again, heading for the front door. He opened it, and was surprised to see the face of Hanji grinning at him.

"Han! Oh my god! Merry Christmas!" Armin's face broke into a smile, and he embraced her. "You didn't tell me you were coming to visit!"

"I know! Surprise! Merry Christmas, Ar!" Over Hanji's shoulder, Armin could see a tall blonde guy, standing there slightly awkwardly as Hanji hugged him. "Oh! This is Erwin Smith, my, uh… Partner." was the word she eventually settled on, and Erwin smiled.

"I knew you wouldn't go through with calling me the other thing." He chuckled. "She wanted to introduce me to you as her 'cuddle buddy', can you believe?" He held his hand out to Armin.

"I can definitely believe that." Armin laughed as Hanji blushed tomato red. He shook Erwin's hand. "I'm Armin Arlert, Hanji's old university pal. We were housemates for a while during our later years there."

"Ah, so you know about the weird shit she brings home. I'll admit I'm not used to it yet. I found rat skulls in the oven when I visited the other day."

"I was testing the fire resistance of animal bones!" Hanji defended herself.

"Well, it wasn't very high, was it? Because they went up in flames about a minute after I got there!"

"The fire brigade weren't happy to see me again, it was the third time that week." Hanji grinned sheepishly. Erwin rolled his eyes, but laughed, wrapping his arms around Hanji's waist from behind and affectionately kissing the top of her head.

"Anyway, where are my manners?! Come in, come in!" Armin said, and he led them into the lounge. After introductions, Hanji immediately ran over to Hanabi.

"Oh she's too cute! Whose child is she?"

"She's mine." Mikasa replied with a smile. "Say hi to Hanji, sweetheart."

"Han…zee?" Hanabi tried, and Hanji squealed with joy.

"Ugh, she's so precious!" Hanji hugged the toddler. "I want one! Can we adopt one, Erwin?"

"Uhhh…" Erwin looked horrified, and the others laughed. Hanabi giggled too, blissfully unaware of the context, and pulled Hanji's glasses off to look at them.

"Oh, careful with those darling, Hanji needs those to see properly." Mikasa said hurriedly, but Hanji shrugged.

"It's all right, I have plenty of spares! I'm always breaking the darn things. You play with them all you want, cutie!" Hanji ruffled the little girl's hair, and Hanabi immediately started trying to bend the metal, prompting more laughter from the adults.

"Dinner's almost ready!" Levi called from the kitchen, and everyone hurried out of the lounge.

* * *

Later that afternoon, everyone was lounging around the flat, full of food and either napping or chatting lazily among themselves. Armin found himself alone in the kitchen, finishing a glass of wine. Was it his fourth? His fifth? He wasn't sure. Everybody had drank rather too much wine with their dinner, and it was no wonder about half of them were asleep. He wandered down the hallway into his room, and realised he had left his clothes all over the floor after searching for his jumper in the morning. As he began to shove them back into the wardrobe haphazardly, a carrier bag caught his eye.

"What the hell? I don't remember putting this here." he mumbled, reaching for it. Inside the bag was a present, wrapped in red shiny paper. A note was attached, and Armin read it, frowning.

_Dear Armin,_

_If you find this before Christmas, don't you dare open it! I'm serious, this is for December 25_ _th_ _! I swear, if you do I'll post the baby pictures your mother showed me all over Facebook. I'm writing this because as you know, Mum and Dad have been lonely since I moved out, and I've told them I'll come home for Christmas. I'm sorry you had to be alone on our first Christmas as a couple, but I made them a promise. We'll celebrate when I see you again. I love you, baby._

_Merry Christmas,_

_Your Sash xxx_

"Sasha…" Armin's eyes filled with tears, and he began scrabbling at the wrapping paper, tearing it away to reveal a cardboard box, which he opened. Inside, under a layer of bubble wrap, was a photo frame. Armin pulled the bubble wrap off to get a closer look. He was greeted with the photo that had been taken of them on the day of the school reunion, just after their black marks had appeared. They had shown each other their wrists, and laughed, embracing, and Eren had begged them to let him, in his words, "take a photo of the new lovebirds". The pair had turned to face the camera and held up their wrists, identical smiles on their faces, and at the last minute, Sasha had pressed a kiss to Armin's cheek. The frame itself was silver in colour, and at the bottom were the words 'I love you: always, forever, and beyond' written in beautiful cursive script. Armin's hands trembled, and he clutched the frame to his chest and began to sob, quietly at first, then louder. After a short while, there was a knock at the door.

"Armin? It's Eren. Can I come in?" The brunette made his way over to his friend, kneeling down beside him in the pile of shirts and jumpers. "What's that?"

"S-She left me this…"

Eren picked up the note, reading it slowly. "Oh, Armin." He wrapped an arm around the blonde, and he sat there in silence as Armin cried himself out. When Armin finally rose to his feet, Eren watched him.

"Let's have another drink. For her." Eren suggested, picking up Armin's empty wine glass from the floor.

Armin gave him a watery smile. "Yeah." As they left his bedroom, he glanced over at the cigarettes on the windowsill.

_Not tonight_ , he decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References n shit!  
> Armin's sweater: http://indulgy.ccio.co/yB/p3/G4/mzz96529redxl.jpg  
> Levi's sweater: http://img.printfection.com/1/2648/2042521/YMFyw.jpg  
> Armin's t-shirt: http://ih2.redbubble.net/image.14107130.8187/fig,white,mens,ffffff.u1.jpg  
> Basis for the photo frame idea: http://i1.cpcache.com/product/701669121/always_forever_beyond_picture_frame.jpg?color=Black&height=460&width=460&qv=90  
> Jean's horse mask (complete with sassy pose): http://horseheadmaskman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/horse-head-mask-man-online-600x449.jpg  
> (I made up Bertholdt's car sticker so I dont have a picture reference I'm sorry!)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first: I AM SO SORRY!!! I went on holiday after the last chapter went up, and when I got home I had the worst block when it came to this story! Big big shoutout to my boyfriend who helped me bounce ideas around to actually get this written! Please enjoy.  
> Minor Trigger Warning for vomit.

After a week of mostly lazy days in front of the television eating more food than is ever socially acceptable at any other time of the year, New Year’s Eve rolled around, and Christa had invited them all to her co-worker Ymir’s New Year’s Eve party.

“So, are you going to kiss her at midnight, Christa?” Armin asked her playfully.

“I don’t know!” Christa said, looking mortified. “Can we please not talk about it? We’re almost there. Left turn here, Bertl.” Bertholdt nodded in acknowledgement and turned the car into the side road Christa had indicated. It was easy to see where the party was taking place, as the house was lit up from every window and the door was wide open with people standing on the grass, holding drinks and chatting. As everyone tumbled unceremoniously out of Bertholdt’s car, clutching and rubbing various limbs that had been bent at awkward angles in order to fit everyone in the tiny vehicle, a tall girl with brown hair and freckles appeared in the doorway, and a smile spread over her features.

“Christa! You made it!” She ran up and embraced the blonde girl tightly. “So these are the famous friends I’ve been hearing so much about! Please, introduce me!”

“Sure! Everyone, this is Ymir! Ymir, this is Eren and Levi.”

“Hi!” Eren waved. Levi gave Ymir a slight nod and the barest hint of a smile.

“That’s Mikasa and Jean.”

“Nice to meet you!” Jean said while Mikasa stared intently at her phone. “Mika, darling, I’m telling you Hanabi will be fine with the babysitter, we don’t need to call.”

“But I’ve never left her alone for this long before!” Mikasa chewed her bottom lip worriedly.

“Mika, she’ll be all right...” Jean told her gently.

“This is Annie, that’s Bertholdt, and this is Armin.” Christa finished. Annie and Armin acknowledged Ymir politely, and Bertholdt came right up and hugged her.

“So you’re the Ymir that our Christa won’t shut up about! Pleased to meet you.”

“Bertl!” Christa hissed, blushing, but Ymir laughed as Bertholdt released her.

“Never shuts up about me, eh?” Ymir slung an arm around Christa’s shoulders. “I can’t wait to hear these stories once you’ve all got a bit of liquid confidence in you! Come on in!”

Christa blushed even harder as Ymir led them all inside. Everyone slowly dispersed, mingling with the other guests. A game of beer pong was happening in the lounge, and Armin laughed as one of the players managed to fall into the table and knock his own cups over.

“Wow, some people really go hard on New Year’s, huh?” Annie said to him conspiratorially.

“Yep. Kind of embarrassing really.” he replied, but Annie’s attention had been caught by Ymir yelling out for someone.

“REI-NEEEEER! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE THE VODKA?” Out of the crowd came a well-built blond guy, rolling his eyes as he approached.

“Oh my god, Ymir, you don’t have to shout, it’s in the goddamn… Annie?”

“Reiner?” Annie said, surprised. “Holy crap, it’s been ages! How have you been?”

“Not too bad! Things went tits up for me and my girl, so I’ve been living with Ymir and her friends for a good six months now, but it’s all good. Still working for the construction company and all that. Anyway, it’s damn good to see you!” Reiner embraced Annie. “Did you come with Ymir’s little girlfriend?”

“Reiner for fuck’s sake, she’s NOT my girlfriend!” Ymir snapped, as Christa stammered something about how it “really isn’t like that!”

“Yeah, Christa lives on the floor below me in my building, along with…” She turned to her left, only to find it unoccupied. “Huh? Where’d he go?”

Armin had disappeared into the kitchen. Something about Annie’s interaction with Reiner had unsettled him, and he couldn’t pinpoint it. Or rather, he could, but he refused to admit it. A tiny needle of jealousy was pricking at him, and he was ashamed of it. How could he let himself be jealous? He had no claim over Annie, so it was none of his business if Reiner was here. They’d dated in the past, they probably just wanted to have a catch-up…

Armin’s hands fell to the nearest unopened bottle of alcohol and he automatically removed the lid, taking a large swig. He coughed and spluttered.

“Well, I guess I found the vodka.” he whispered to himself, before taking another gulp.

“Armin?”

Armin whirled around to see Eren in the doorway. “Oh, h-hey Eren. You ‘kay?”

“Armin, is that straight vodka? You know you can’t handle spirits, what’re you playing at?”

“Fucking hell Eren, you’re not my mother!” Armin grumbled, lifting the bottle to his lips again.

“Shit, you’re already tipsy. Seriously, is something wrong?” Eren asked, concern in his eyes as he picked up two beers.

“I’m fine, chill out. Go take Levi his beer.” Armin gestured to the drinks in Eren’s hands.

Eren looked at Armin with a worried sigh, but left anyway. Armin leaned heavily against the countertop, drinking more vodka without even thinking about it. Soon enough, the last drops of the burning liquid were dripping onto his tongue, and he groaned, slamming the empty bottle down onto the counter. This had definitely been one of his worst ideas in a long time. His head was already fuzzy. He glanced at his watch, and saw that it was already 11:35. He remembered arriving at Ymir’s at 11:15, and was surprised at how much time he had wasted alone in the kitchen. He pushed himself off the counter, and immediately stumbled right into the kitchen island in front of him.

“Shit.” he hissed, pushing himself upright again. Maybe staying where he was wouldn’t be such a bad idea…

“Armin? Hey, Armin, you around here somewhere?” He heard his name called again, and this time it was Mikasa who appeared at the door. “Armin, you’re swaying on your feet, how much have you had to drink?!”

“Dunno. Bottl’of vodka, I think.”

“God! Are you okay?”

“’Mfine Mikasssssa. Jus’ a bit tispy.” He replied, before giggling. “Whoopsie, I mean tipsy.”

“Armin, you’re going to be alright for midnight, right? We all promised we’d see the New Year in together.”

Armin nodded. “Imgonna have some waterrr.” He pointed at the sink for emphasis.

“Alright. Just try not to be sick or anything. I’m already having trouble keeping Jean under control.”

“Mikaaaaa! Where are youuuuuu, my beautiful cherry blossom?!”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Speak of the devil. Coming, Jean!” She left, and Armin wobbled towards the sink, but his gaze landed on another full bottle of vodka.

“Fuck it.” He grabbed it, unscrewed the lid, and took a swig as he wandered out into the party.

* * *

“How’s your book coming along? You’re still working on it, right?”

Annie nodded. “Yeah. I’ve hit a bit of a wall though. Writer’s block is hell.”

“Bummer.” Reiner took a swig of his beer as he and Annie watched Eren and Levi take on Ymir and Christa at beer pong.

“Yeah. My old writing tutor said the story needed more substance, so I’ve been working back through it to flesh things out, but it’s really hard.”

“Hmm.” At that moment, Bertholdt came bounding in, clearly rather smug about his sobriety.

“Annie, darling, having fun? I was just in the garden and _oh my god, hel-LO_!” Bertholdt did a double take as he looked at Reiner. “Now who in the world are you, and are you single?”

Reiner gave a booming laugh. “Well, it just so happens that I am. I’m Reiner, Reiner Braun.”

“Bertholdt Hoover.”

Annie bit back a laugh as the two guys looked at each other. Then they both gave a start, surprising her.

“Wait a second…” Bertholdt and Reiner spoke in unison, looking down at their wrists to find matching black tallies. “Holy shit.”

“Well… Nice to meet ya, soulmate. Looks like this year’s gonna be my year after all.” Reiner grinned, and Bertholdt launched himself into the shorter man’s arms, hugging him. Annie smiled, and quietly excused herself, squeezing past the beer pong table and ignoring the cry of “Hah! In your faces, nerds!” from Ymir. She walked out into the garden, where a few people were chatting and smoking, and Mikasa was trying to talk a totally wasted Jean out of the rose bush, where he was vomiting violently. She looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful clear night, and the stars twinkled entrancingly. She couldn’t help but smile.

 _Maybe this is going to be my year too,_ she thought. She stretched her arms behind her head, feeling stiff from sitting still for so long, and her hand brushed her hair, which had been done up it its usual bun. After a full day of wear, it was slowly falling out, and she loosened the hair tie to let it hang down in a ponytail.

“Thirty seconds!” someone yelled from inside, and Annie wandered closer to the front of the garden as everyone began flooding out of the house. Armin found himself swept along with the other partygoers, out into the chilly night, still clutching his now-empty vodka bottle. He was jostled by someone and he dropped the bottle onto the grass. He felt dizzy, and lonely. He saw people clutching their significant others as the countdown continued.

"Ten…"

"Nine…"

"Eight…"

Armin thought back to the beginning of the night when he had felt so jealous about Reiner and Annie. Why? Why had he felt like that?

"Seven…"

"Six…"

"Five…"

“Armin? Hey, Armin. Haven’t seen you since we got here, you okay? You look like you’re pretty drunk, I thought you said getting smashed was embarrassing.”

Suddenly, there she was, her pale skin standing out against the darkness of the night. Her blue eyes glittered just like the stars, and her blonde hair was no longer in its usual bun, but instead swinging behind her in a ponytail.

_With her hair like that… She looks like Sasha…_

"Four…"

"Three…"

“Annie… I…” Armin began, but faltered. What could he say? There was no explanation for what was going on in his head.

_Jealous… Of course I’m jealous. Anyone would be lucky to have her. So why can’t I fall for her the way she fell for me?_

"Two…"

"One…"

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

The joyous shouts around him faded into nothingness as Armin’s body moved of its own accord, lunging forward and wrapping Annie into his arms, catching her lips in a messy, drunken kiss. Annie froze, paralysed with shock.

_Armin’s kissing me… Armin’s kissing me…_

_No, this isn’t right… He’s drunk, he’s not thinking straight…_

_And he doesn’t love me the way I love him…_

The next thing Armin registered was a stinging blow to the side of his face, and he fell to the ground, looking up to see Annie with her arm still poised post-slap. The other kissing couples broke apart at the smacking sound, and turned around to the sight of Armin on the floor and Annie standing above him. Annie touched her lips with her other hand, her eyes flashing angrily as she glared down at him.

“Don’t you _dare_. Don’t you _fucking_ dare do that if you don’t love me.” Her eyes began to well up, and two solitary tears escaped the corners. “You stupid, drunken idiot!” she yelled, running into the house.

“Annie!” Bertholdt called, running after her with Reiner in tow. Armin turned his head to watch Annie go, then promptly faced the ground and puked onto the grass. Abruptly everyone cleared a space around him, and Eren and Levi exchanged glances.

“Call a cab. Let’s take him home.” Levi told Eren as they approached him slowly.

* * *

Meanwhile, Annie had run into the downstairs bathroom of the house and locked herself in. She sat abruptly against the door and began to cry, her body shaking with sobs.

“That fucking asshole!” she sobbed, burying her face in her hands. The kiss refused to leave her mind, and it played over and over in her head, the softness of Armin’s lips, the slightly endearing drunken sloppiness of his tongue, the feeling of his arms around her, holding her tightly…

There was a knock at the door. “Annie? I don’t mean to alarm you but if you don’t come out of there, Reiner’s definitely going to piss his pants.”

In spite of everything, Annie snorted with laughter. “Gimme a moment.” she called back. She hauled herself to her feet and turned on the tap, splashing a little water onto her tear-streaked face. She looked at herself in the mirror and steeled herself before opening the door. In a flash Reiner passed her and closed the door behind her.

“Told you.” Bertholdt said matter-of-factly, concern written all over his face.

“I cannot believe him!” Annie yelled.

“I’m sorry, I have a weak bladder and I drank like six beers in the last hour!” Reiner called apologetically from the toilet, making Annie snort again.

“Not you, asshole. Fucking Armin! Damn it, I’m just so… _argh!_ ” Annie screamed in frustration and threw herself against Bertholdt’s chest, sobbing into his shirt. “Why do people do such stupid fucking things when they’re drunk?!”

“I know sweetie. I know.” Bertholdt hugged Annie as the other partygoers slowly came back inside, chattering in low voices. “He probably won’t even remember it. He was pretty pissed.”

“I don’t care. I’m not talking to him until I get an apology.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOOD GOLLY GOSH I'M ALIVE  
> I'm so sorry! IRL stuff and Free fics took over for a while, but after some lovely comments in the past week I finally got inspired to write this again! I do intend to see it through to a neat ending, but there will be times when my updates get delayed, and for that I apologise in advance.  
> Warnings - more puke. Sorry :S

“Oh… my… _god_ …” Armin groaned as he blinked groggily, waking up to the sight of his bedroom in the same state he had left it in before leaving for the party last night. His head was pounding like the bass of some dubstep song, and for some reason, his cheek was slightly sore. He sat up slowly, wincing at the pain.

Wait, when did he get home? And why was there a bucket on his bedside table? He sat up and peered into it.

_Oh._ That would be why. He clapped a hand over his nose and mouth, trying not to gag as the smell of his own vomit wafted up from the bottom of the bucket. At least, he  _assumed_ it was his own. In a brief moment of panic he rolled over in bed, breathing a heavy sigh of relief as the sight that greeted him turned out to be nothing but pillows and duvet.

But just what in the world had happened at the party? His brain was utterly empty, and trying to remember things made his headache worse. He removed the bucket from the bedside table, and hauled himself out of bed sluggishly, intending to go and wash out the bucket in the bathroom. However, as soon as he made it into the hall, he heard loud retching sounds from behind the closed bathroom door, and winced, deciding against it. He made his way to the kitchen instead, surprised to see Levi already up and looking relatively fresh, making a cup of coffee.

“Uhh… Happy New Year, I guess?” Armin mumbled, making his way to the kitchen sink. “Hold your breath.” He ran the hot tap into the bucket, grimacing as the smell worsened.

“Is it?” Levi asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Wish I remembered. I’m drawing a complete blank.”

“Oh boy, you are going to _kick_ yourself when it all comes back to you.” Levi said grimly. “Coffee?”

“No thanks. Not unless you want more of this.” Armin indicated the bucket as he poured the foul-smelling contents down the drain and opened the cupboard to get the disinfectant spray. Levi gave a small laugh.

“Was Christa still puking when you came in here?”

“I assume so. Eren still sleeping?”

Levi nodded. “Don’t expect to see him before at least 3pm.”

Armin smirked, wincing slightly as the smell of disinfectant aggravated his headache. “Noted.”

Levi poured two mugs of coffee, adding milk and sugar to one, before taking a sip from the other. “Will you take that to Christa? She shouted at me when I tried to get into the bathroom to piss earlier.”

“Sounds _just_ like hungover Christa.” Armin said with a soft chuckle, putting the bucket and spray back under the sink and washing his hands. “Yeah, will do. Just let me take some painkillers first.”

Levi shrugged, heading for the door. “Oh, Armin?”

“Yeah?” Armin turned around, box of painkillers in his hand.

“When you _do_ remember what you did last night, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

With that, Levi turned on his heel and left the kitchen. Armin sighed, reaching for a glass and filling it with water.

 _Just what the hell happened last night then?_ he asked himself as he dosed up on painkillers and finished the water, before grabbing the coffee mug and heading for the bathroom, feeling infinitely more human now he was hydrated.

“Christa? It’s Armin. I’ve got coffee.”

He heard the toilet flushing, a spritzing sound that he realised was probably the air freshener spray, and then a croaky reply came from Christa: “Come in. Can’t leave toilet. Might need to hurl again.”

“Wow, and I thought I was feeling rough.” He laughed, pushing the door open with his free hand. Christa was kneeling by the toilet, her hair thrown up in a messy bun to keep it out of her face.

“You look surprisingly well, considering the events that occurred.” she replied, the sarcasm evident in her tone despite her mumbling. She accepted the coffee mug from him and took a sip.

“Yeah, speaking of that, care to enlighten me at all? Levi wouldn’t tell me shit.”

“You don’t remember? Like, any of it?” Christa’s bleary eyes widened. “God, you really _were_ as smashed as you looked…”

“Christa, give me a break here. What did I do?”

Christa staggered to her feet, heading for her bedroom. “Hold on. Ymir was taking a video of all the New Year’s kisses, I think she managed to catch the whole thing on camera.”

 _Oh, Christ,_ Armin thought. _Did I kiss someone?_ He followed her, chewing his bottom lip worriedly.

“Here. Just so you know, it’s not pretty.” Christa passed Armin her phone, and he tapped the video on the screen, unsure of what to expect.

He had certainly not expected to see himself lunging at Annie and kissing her frantically for about three or four seconds, before he saw Annie’s hand swing up and connect with his cheek. _Well, that explains the ache in my cheek_ , he thought as he watched himself fall to the ground and everyone turned to see what was happening.

 _“Don’t you_ dare _. Don’t you fucking_ dare _do that if you don’t love me. You stupid, drunken idiot!”_

Armin flinched as he heard the crack in Annie’s voice, and saw her turn and run out of the view of the camera, with someone faintly calling her name in the background. He saw himself raise his head and watch Annie leave, then turn towards the ground and vomit violently onto the grass. His hands shook as he saw Levi and Eren approach him and haul him onto his feet, and then the video stopped. Armin wordlessly handed Christa’s phone back to her, and proceeded to sit down abruptly on her desk chair.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Christa gently put a hand on Armin’s shoulder. They paused there in silence for a moment, and Armin closed his eyes. It was all slowly coming back, the sight of Annie in the moonlight, wearing her hair the way Sasha used to, the alcohol in his system making his jealousy of Annie’s interaction with Reiner intensify, wondering why he cared so much if she talked to some other guy… And then the kiss.

Armin’s head was spinning as he remembered the kiss, the way Annie had frozen in shock, but for a short moment before the slap, he could’ve sworn he felt her lips move against his… Why did he care? Why was that important? In no plausible situation should he have kissed her.

He didn’t love her… Not the way she loved him…

He was going to have to puzzle this out when he had a clearer head on his shoulders.

“I really fucked up this time, didn’t I?” he eventually said.

“Um… Yeah, yeah you did.” Christa replied, sensing that this was not the time to sugarcoat her reply.

“Shiiiiiiit.” Armin groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “ARGH! Idiot!” he screamed into his palms, and Christa patted his shoulder sympathetically.

“She told Reiner and Bertholdt that she refuses to speak to you until you apologise.” Christa said softly, and Armin groaned again.

“I guess I’d better get it over with then.” He stood up. “Thanks, Christa. For telling me.”

“No problem. Thanks for the coffee.”

“Not me you should be thanking, it was Levi’s doing.” Armin replied with a minuscule smile, before heading back to his own room and grabbing his phone. He hovered for a moment between calling and texting Annie, then realised that whichever he picked would seem incredibly impersonal. He threw on the nearest clean clothes he could find, and shoved his feet into last night’s shoes, grabbing his keys and marching determinedly out of the door. However, as he took the stairs to the upper floor, his resolve began to waver, and by the time he was outside Annie’s door, he had almost lost his nerve. By some miracle, he managed to raise his arm and knock on the door, only to find the door creaked open under his fist.

“Annie?” he called hesitantly. There was no reply, and Armin pushed the door open slowly. As he looked around, he was greeted with the sight of Annie sleeping on the sofa. He crept closer, and was ashamed to see that her face was streaked with dry tears.

“Oh, Annie. I’m so sorry.” he whispered, kneeling next to her sleeping form. “I don’t know why I did it, but I should never have kissed you. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again. I’m such a _fucking_ idiot.”

Tears pricked at his own eyes as he watched her. How could he ever have hurt her? She was one of his best friends, and he had at least hoped she thought the same of him. Armin closed his eyes, the tears spilling out as he did so. He was so, _so_ stupid.

Suddenly a warm weight collided with him, and a pair of arms threw themselves around his neck. Armin’s eyes snapped open to reveal Annie hugging him, her legs still balanced on the sofa as she clung to him.

“I’m still really fucking pissed at you.” Annie mumbled into Armin’s shoulder as she hugged him. “This does not mean you’re off the hook. I… I just really appreciate the apology… You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that.”

“Th-thank you...” Armin hugged her back. “I-I can’t explain or excuse last night, but I am so sor…”

“Armin, stop talking.”

“Roger that.”

Annie laughed slightly, causing her to lose her balance and tumble from the couch, landing heavily on Armin’s legs.

“Crap, sorry, my bad.” Annie said, although her voice still seemed light, amused even. She shuffled out of his lap and back onto the sofa. “Didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Not at all.”

“Good.”

And with that, she straightened up and swung her arm. Armin braced himself, but it still stung as she slapped his cheek again.

“I deserved that. Both times.” he sighed, rubbing his sore face.

“Yes, you did. But now I might just be able to forgive you.”

Armin’s face split into a grin, and Annie gave him a small smile in return.

Things weren’t back to normal, not by any means, but hopefully they were on the right track…


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slowly creeps out from under her trash pile, waving a white flag and clutching a new chapter*  
> First off, I am unbelievably, incredibly sorry for the neglect this poor fic, and by extension, you, have experienced. I had a severe writer's block for this story, and then work and uni started kicking my ass thoroughly. I've finally found time to finish and put this chapter up though, and chapter 19 is already started so I'm going to *try* not to be so long with it, I promise! I'd also like to contribute to AruAni week next month if I can, so keep an eye out for that! Thanks for not deserting me everyone, you're all lovely! <3

After a few weeks of somewhat tentative interactions, things slowly returned to their usual state between Armin and Annie, or at least it did to the people around them. Armin himself wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t that he was acting differently, and neither was she. But ever since New Year’s, Armin had been trying to figure out the reason he had kissed Annie at midnight. He knew he couldn’t just chalk it up to being drunk, something conscious had to have made him do it.

The question was, what was it?

Armin had been mulling it over for ages now, and yet somehow he was no closer to an answer. Every track his mind took returned him to the same conclusion: _You’re falling for her, idiot._ But surely that was impossible. Although… Since New Year’s, Armin wasn’t so sure of anything about his friendship with Annie. He was thankful that she either hadn’t noticed, or was letting him figure it out alone.

It only made matters worse that Valentine’s Day was rapidly approaching, and Armin couldn’t go anywhere without seeing pink and red heart-shaped decorations, and it was only making him miss Sasha more and more. He had had another nightmare about her a few nights after New Year’s, which hadn’t helped his attempts to work out how he felt about Annie.

Two weeks prior to Valentine’s Day, Armin was over at Annie’s playing more Mortal Kombat. It had become something of a feature in their regular hangout sessions, and the loser had to pay for whatever takeaway the winner wanted. Usually Armin could hold his own, and occasionally win, but today was not his day. His thoughts were all over the place.

“Yessss! Three wins in a row!” Annie laughed, as the words ‘FLAWLESS VICTORY’ flashed onto the screen again. “Get that wallet out, Arlert, we’re having Mexican tonight... Armin?”

Armin jolted back to awareness to find that he had been staring blankly past the television screen. “Huh?”

“You zoned out, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good, yeah, fine. So, Mexican, right?” Armin asked, fishing his phone out of his pocket.

“Armin.” Annie said, surprisingly sternly. Armin paused, looking sideways at her. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

Armin sighed. What could he possibly say? _Hey, Annie, turns out New Year’s has kinda left me feeling like I’m starting to fall in love with you, but I still really miss my dead girlfriend, who by the way I totally have nightmares about like every three weeks, haha, no big deal or anything!_

He reduced it down to the smallest problem. “It’s Valentine’s Day. I see it everywhere, all this romantic stuff and it…” He paused, a lump suddenly swelling in his throat. “It makes me miss Sasha.”

Annie reached out and patted Armin's shoulder sympathetically. "It's okay, I get it." They were silent for a moment, then Annie had an idea. "Why don't we do something on Valentine's Day, as friends? It might help take your mind off things."

"You know what, that's not a bad idea. Sounds better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself anyway." Armin smiled.

Annie grinned back at him. "Sure does. Anyway, are you gonna order my burritos or not?" She elbowed him in the side and he groaned in pain.

"You sure you don't wanna go for best three out of five?"

"You already negotiated best two out of three and I still kicked your ass, call the goddamn takeaway you dork." Annie laughed, attempting to wrestle the phone out of his hand. Armin shrieked in protest and tried to hold the phone out of her reach, which only resulted in both of them collapsing heavily onto the floor, Annie landing on top of Armin with a muffled thump.

"Gah, jeez..." Armin gasped, feeling a little winded as he lay there on the floor, his phone all but forgotten somewhere around him as he realised that Annie was very much on top of him. He looked down and could see her head on his chest, and he could feel their legs intertwined. One of Annie's knees was dangerously close to Armin's crotch, and he took slow, deep breaths to keep himself from potentially getting aroused as Annie slowly pushed herself up, kneeling with her legs either side of one of his own.

"Sorry, are you okay?" She asked, reaching for his hand. He took it and she pulled him upwards into a sitting position.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little winded." Armin replied, smiling stiffly. "Where did my phone end up?"

"Over there." Annie pointed to his left, and Armin located it easily, picking it up and punching in the number of the Mexican takeaway. Annie finally got to her feet and Armin breathed a silent sigh of relief. _God, that was close…_

Later that night, Armin lay in bed, unable to sleep. His mind was racing. He was trying, as he had been almost every night since New Year’s, to figure out how he felt about Annie. But something new was in the mix, something physical, sparking a little wave of what he could only describe as lust as he remembered Annie’s small body atop his own, warmth radiating from her. His breath hitched in his throat as the memory consumed the rest of his thoughts.

 _Okay, this is weird and creepy and so, so wrong!_ Armin mentally chastised himself. _Annie’s your friend, you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about her like this!_

Armin sighed, and rolled over to go to sleep, ignoring the stirrings from his lower region.

\--

Valentine’s Day finally dawned, and Armin was really looking forward to spending time with Annie. They hadn’t really planned anything beyond hanging out for the day, but Armin could roll with that. He got up and dressed fairly promptly, throwing on a simple t-shirt and jeans and heading to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. To his surprise, the person he found in his kitchen was not someone who lived there.

“Hey, Armin, right?” Ymir said from where she sat at the breakfast bar with a mug in her hand.

“Ymir? Er, yeah, hi.” Armin tried to remain nonchalant as he dropped some bread into the toaster. “Nice to, uh, see you again.”

“Oh, sorry, you’re probably wondering why I’m in your flat.”

“Um, yep.”

Ymir laughed, and the tension diffused somewhat. “Well, uh, Christa invited me over. She thought it would be cool to have a movie marathon.”

“Oh. Awesome!” Armin brightened. “I’m glad she’s got a date for Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh, uhh…” Ymir looked into her mug intently. “It’s not like that.” she mumbled.

“Shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to assume…” Armin backtracked hurriedly, panicking.

“No, it’s okay.” Ymir replied, a small smile on her face. Armin’s toast popped up in a timely manner, and Armin grabbed it and started eating. “Ew, don’t you put anything on your toast?”

Armin shook his head and swallowed his mouthful. “Ruins the bready goodness.”

“Literally, what the fuck?”

“Ymir! Don’t be so mean to Armin!” Christa breezed into the kitchen. “Morning, Armin.”

“Morning, Christa.” Armin smiled, wolfing down the rest of his toast. “Well, I gotta get going. Have a good day, guys!”

He waved as he left the kitchen and shoved his shoes on in the hall, grabbing his coat and heading out into the hallway. He jogged up the stairs and knocked on the door. As it opened, his jaw nearly hit the floor. Annie was standing there in what he assumed were her pyjamas, a form-fitting navy tank top and black shorts, and her hair was out of its usual bun and hanging loose around her face.

_Fuck. She’s gorgeous._

“Oi, earth to Armin. You coming in or what?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, of course.”

_Nice one, idiot._

Annie turned and headed into her flat, and Armin stepped through the doorway after her, pointedly looking everywhere other than at her as he kicked his shoes off again.

“Everything okay? You seem kind of… On edge.” Annie asked him, heading for the kitchen area.

“What? Oh, no, I’m fine.”

Annie shrugged. “Okay, cool. You want something to drink? I got… Coke, lemonade, OJ…”

“Coke’s fine.” Armin said with a grin, and Annie turned to the fridge, opening it and bending low to reach the drinks.

_Oh, hell! Stop looking, stop looking! Get your eyes away from her ass right now! She’s gonna notice you staring!_

Despite his frantic internal monologue, Armin’s gaze was fixated on Annie’s butt. Her shorts had ridden up several inches as she bent over, and Armin couldn’t help thinking about whether she was wearing underwear or not.

_Do women sleep in their underwear? Oh Christ, this is awful, you need to stop thinking about this! Quick, think about that time Grandpa tried to give you the sex talk!_

Instantly, Armin calmed down, relieved of his lewd thoughts by the amusing yet somewhat disturbing memories of his grandfather trying to explain sex to him without ever saying the words “penis” or “vagina”. In the meantime, Annie had straightened up and was holding out a can of coke.

“You’re really spacing out, dude, are you sure you’re alright?”

_This is gonna be a long day…_

\--

After a long argument about choosing a movie to watch, Armin’s love of Disney had won out, and they settled in to watch Tangled. Armin sat down normally, but Annie decided to sit sideways with her legs hanging over the arm of the sofa. Unfortunately for Armin, this meant that before the film even started, she lay down and lowered her head onto his thigh, turning so she could see the TV. Armin bit back a horrified squeak as he felt the warmth of Annie’s face radiating through the fabric of his jeans.

_This is not good, this is so not good!_

“Is this okay? I really don’t wanna get up and find a cushion.” Annie asked without looking up at Armin.

“Yeah, sure, no problem.” Armin said hurriedly. “Shhhh, it’s starting!”

Annie tutted sarcastically but shut up nonetheless, pushing her hair out of her face and settling her gaze on the TV, oblivious to Armin’s panic.

_Oh for fuck’s sake, as if this couldn’t get any more awkward! Concentrate on the movie, concentrate on the TV, you can do this…_

Although it took him a good while, Armin finally managed to keep track of the film, though admittedly it wasn’t hard, as it was one of his favourites. Or at least, he did until Annie accidentally shifted further up his leg.

_Shit, shit, shit! Don’t pop a boner, don’t pop a boner, do not…_

Armin felt himself twitching, though only minutely, and groaned inwardly. His hand hovered above Annie’s head as he wondered whether he dared move her back, or push her off his lap altogether. However, his attention was drawn back to the movie as the lantern scene began.

_Oh, thank god. No way can I get it up watching this part._

Armin settled again, and his hand subconsciously went to Annie’s hair and started playing with it, his fingers threading through her soft blonde locks. Halfway through the song, Annie made a small noise of contentment, and Armin looked down at her, realising what his hand was doing, and panicked, disengaging it from her hair and instead laying his arm along the back of the sofa. Annie turned her head back to look up at Armin.

“Why’d you stop? That felt kind of nice.”

Armin blushed. “It wasn’t weird for you? I didn’t even realise I was doing it…”

“Pffft, what’s a little harmless physical contact between friends?” Annie rolled her head back to face the TV and Armin tentatively returned his hand to her hair, stroking softly. Annie made another contented noise, and something about it made Armin’s pulse start racing.

_This is so stupid, I’m only touching her hair but she’s making noises like that…_

Armin cleared his throat. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay.” Annie sat up to let him move. Armin walked hurriedly to the bathroom and locked the door behind him, letting out a shaky breath.

_You have to pull yourself together! You’re supposed to be spending a nice relaxing day with her as a friend, this is getting out of hand!_

Armin flushed the toilet on the pretext of having actually been, then walked back out to rejoin Annie, who to his immense relief was now sat up normally.

“So, what should we do for lunch?” Annie asked as Armin sat down, realising the film was nearing its end.

“I can order us something. What do you feel like?”

Annie thought for a moment. “I could really go for pizza right now.”

“Pizza it is.”


	19. An Apology (NOT A REAL CHAPTER)

Hi, all. As you may have seen, this isn't a chapter. This is me apologising to you dear readers for this fic disappearing. At the moment, I am no longer planning to see this fic to a proper end. It's got a lot of ties to a relationship I was in when I began writing it, a relationship which has now come to an end. As such, it's difficult for me to think about this fic without also dwelling on that relationship, which I don't want to do. I want to move forward, and if I force myself to keep writing this, I won't be able to do so. I'm not going to orphan this fic, as I'm still immensely proud of it, but I thought you all deserved to know that this fic will be remaining incomplete. I'm sorry. 

~ Sophie 

P.S. if anyone also follows my Free! fic, Angel in a Leather Jacket, that WILL be continuing when university work stops kicking my scatterbrained, disorganised ass.


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